The Brains and The Brawn
by NashaWriter
Summary: A woman and her Dog saves Negan/Simon from certain death, he repays her by giving her a home and a chance to use her smarts for the 'greater good". The Psych major diagnoses him as narcissistic sociopath, but the two become, oddly enough, friends and before too long...her ethics become confused.
1. Chapter 1

**(Chapter 1 First Impressions- Part 1)**

"FUCK! Cocksucking motherfucking radio!" yelled Negan, hardly startling Simon as he leaned over the smoking engine of their truck, "You'd think the fuckers would at least look back to see we're not there!" fumed Negan as he thumbed the switch on the dead radio again. The rest of the convoy was at least an hour ahead of them by now, "Ah fuck it.." he mused tossing the radio into the air just in front of him then took a mighty swing with the barbwire covered bat in his hands, smashing the radio into so many broken pieces of plastic and metal.

Simon looked up at the sound of that and chuckled some, "Asshole's probably thought you had some idea for a field trip," he said with a smirk before slamming shut the truck's hood, "This bitch is toast, ready to stretch your legs? We're walking," Simon asked as he reached in to grab his bug-out bag and slung it over his shoulder.

Negan sighed and looked to his right hand man, "Yeah.. not like it's the first time we've been out here," he mused as he rested Lucille over his shoulder and rolled his neck as he and Simon headed down the road to Sanctuary.

They were just about the reach the crest of a hill in the road when Negan stopped short suddenly, his hand reaching out to stop Simon, barred across his chest, "Wait.. you hear that?" he asked as he crouched down a bit and scooted off to get into the trees by the roadside, Simon following behind quickly, the sound that Negan had mentioned reaching his ear as well. The low rising moans of a whole damn lot of the biters. Negan growled some and looked to Simon, "Well fuck me running..." he muttered, "That sounds like a hell of a lot.. too damn many to- Shit-fuck!" he cried out as a legless and silent biter suddenly reached up from behind Simon, grasping his lieutenants shoulder as it tried to pull itself up for a fatal bite. Reacting quickly Lucille quickly found her way into the biters head.. a few times.. for good measure.

Unfortunately the commotion got the attention of the bigger group on the road and just like that there were at least two dozen of the things coming over the hill.

Simon saw the group and shook his head, "Fuck 'em, we'll just go the long way around, fuckers aren't' that fast," he mused as he and Negan moved to do just that. They were going down a small hill in the woods when suddenly the log that Simon stepped on rolled under his foot, sending him crash rolling down the hill, "Ahhh! Fuck!" he cried out, his hands moving to hold his knee, "Damnit.. it's my knee.. it's fucked," he groaned as Negan came over to him.

"Come on you lazy fuck, we gotta get outta here," he said as he bent down, one hand hanging onto Lucille as his other arm helped Simon to stand, the zeds closing in on them ever closer. Simon lifted his pistol shooting until he was out of ammo, nearly every shot finding it's mark but with so many following them.. and steadily gaining, it wasn't nearly enough.

When one of the biters stumbled out in front of them he knew they were surrounded. Negan yelled out, swinging one handed with Lucille and brained the walker but it would be too little too late as well as more of the things piled around them.

From not too far off but hidden behind a tree, Lilabet watched the goings-on of the two men. "Aw, that sucks, they're about to get their asses chomped," she said as she shared the last bit of jerky she had with the 3 year old pup sitting down at her feet. The pup, Max (a half border collie half pit) happily ate his ration then put his paw up on her leg...whining a bit. Lilabet frowned, "Bud, I cannot go saving everyone we come across...You AND me are gonna get ourselves killed that way!" she said trying to reason with the dog who laid down and did not look at her. Rolling her eyes she sighed and slung the backpack to her front. "Don't be mad cause I'm doing me better then you doin' you," she sung to herself quietly as she pulled out a jar of Walker viscera.

Dropping the bag she checked the gun in the holster on her hip then rolled up her left sleeve to expose her most prized weapon. It was known as a Ninja Forearm Machete. She had seen it worn by Cosplayers for the video game BloodRayne. The machete part was made from a solid piece of stainless steel about 15 inches long. The handle had an ergonomic grip and a strap that wraps around her forearm for support. The best part was that the machete part was controlled by a small lever that allowed it to slide out and slide back in for the best compactness. It was a weird weapon to just 'have' but she had been a part-time cosplayer back in the day and had an uncle who was a blacksmith. Needless to say she won the "Best Costume' contest that year.

Lilabet quickly smeared some of the guts on her shoulders and arms. Max sat up waiting for directions, he was a well-trained dog and this was after a crash course once the dead started walking. She made a motion with her fingers then they stepped out onto the path that led to the horde and the men about to be eaten. With a single finger flick, the all black dog (with a white hourglass chest) ran off towards the horde barking up a storm. A few of the dead noticed him and stepped away from the men, lightening their load for them, and shambled after the dog towards Lilabet...whom was ready to go. Now, even with a cool weapon, she wasn't some ninja master. Some of her swings missed but she managed to put down the 4 walkers that came towards her. Lilabet motioned to Max again and this time he ran off to hide while she walked at the horde...invisible thanks to the guts smeared on her. With the help of her weapon she was able to put the Walkers down quickly and quietly.

Negan was swinging at Walker after Walker, his heavy barbed-wire bat putting down the walkers and making them stay down. Little by little he noticed the horde becoming easier to contain. At one point he thought he was hallucinating as he saw what looked to be a apocalyptic Harley Quinn in front of him suddenly. That hallucination was smashed as he felt her wipe Walker guts on his cheeks then the front of his hands. "Fuck!" he spat. "Shut up, grab your friend and meet me by that tree where the dog is hiding," she told them, pointing to said tree and dog. Seeing some of the Walkers drawn to his yell, he got Simon up and the two rushed over to the tree...Negan dropped Simon to sit of course and decided to watch the woman make quick work of what was left of the walkers.

Once safe, she wiped her forehead of sweat then headed back to the men she saved. Negan had a smile growing lips as she walked at them, even with Walker guts on her face (football style) she still was very very good looking. It was rare to see a woman who still worried about her appearance these days but Lilabet realized a person needed one thing...one personal thing that they could do for themselves in order to make themselves feel better. For her it was clothes and makeup...which was funny because she had been a tomboy most of her life. But now that looting was common, she 'looted' herself a whole new wardrobe. Today (very late afternoon) she was wearing a pair of form fitting (the material that hugged her curves were also stretchy) blue jeans and a black soft ribbed bell sleeved off the shoulder top. Her bright red hair was done up in a tight bun...it was always like that tho. A walker once got a handful of her hair and there was no more leaving it down after that.


	2. Chapter 1 Part 2

_**(Chapter 1 - Part 2 My intro chapter is long hence the part 2. This is the 'longer' of the two. Enjoy!)**_

Before she said anything to them, she gave Negan the one minute finger and got some alcohol wipes from her bag, cleaned her face, Negan's (gently) and wiped down her blade before pressing the lever that pulled it back into its sheath. Now all cleaned up she looked to him.

"Holy fucking shit! Who the hell are you and where the hell did you come from just in the nick of time to save our lives and steal my bleeding fucking heart?" he asked with a wide grin as he lifted his bat over his shoulder again.

As he was talking, Lilabet got distracted by his friends swollen knee and moved to kneel in front of him. She reached into her bag and got something out that was still in the package then rolled up the mans pant leg.

"I'm Simon," Simon said wincing in pain.

"Your kneecap is dislocated. I can put it back into place but its gonna hurt like 8 bitches in a bitch-boat," she explained to him.

"8 bitches in a-Simon, remember that for me. I want to use it, that's fuckin good," Negan said clapping his friend on the shoulder.

Simon nodded to Negan then looked to Lilabet, "Do it," he told her.

"Yeah you tough sumabitch!" Negan smirked.

Lilabet nodded then put her hands on either side of the cap. "On the count of three. One...TWO!" she shouted and shifted it back into place on the count of two.

"AH FUCK!" Simon yelled then blinked, "Shit that was quick. Sore as fuck tho."

"Yeah, here," she said wrapping the knee brace around it and pulled his pant leg down. "Try and take it easy for two weeks, take Motrin if you have it," she said as they both stood up.

"Ah, don't worry, I'll look after him...be his own nurse and shit," Negan chuckled then put on a face of mock surprise. "I am sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Negan," he said then motioned to his bat, "And this is Lucille. Mind telling us your name and the name of the lil furry asskicker there at your feet and staring at me?" Negan asked with a smirk.

Lilabet snorted out a small laugh, "I'm Lilabet and this is Max, Maxwell," she introduced them both.

"Lilabet? I ain't no genius or nothin but I remember history class. You tellin' us that your parents named you the same thing that Queen Elizabeth the Second parents called her as a nickname?" Simon asked curiously.

Lilabet looked to Simon, "My parents were ex-pats and natural Anglophiles. I'll let you look up the two most complicated words in that sentence before I laugh at you," she snarked.

Negan rolled his eyes and put a firm hand on his friends shoulder which made Simon take a step back as he took a step forward. Lilabet noticed it was almost like a show a dominance. "Don't mind the man who's named after an old surgery game," he smirked and took Lilibet's hand, "Nice to meet you Lilly," he said and kissed the front of her hand before letting it go.

"Huh, weird, you're the first person ever to call me Lilly. I mostly get Lila or Beth," Lilly noticed with a chuckle as she picked up her bag and slung it back over her shoulder. She made a motion to Max and he stood up, ready leave. "So, you both know how to get to your homes? You both good to go? I gotta get going myself, need to see if I can a town or a settlement before nightfall," she told them, itching to not waste anymore time.

Negan smiled big and raised his arms, "Perfect! You need a place to stay and we both need to repay you for saving our lives. About 15 minutes right down this path and over a hill is my home, Sanctuary and I am cordially inviting you to a multiple night stay," he told her.

Every time he spoke, Lilly was taking mental notes. Negan was a very boisterous man, almost having a flair for the dramatic. It made for interesting conversations that's for sure.

Lilly gave him a half smile, "I really appreciate it but I don't stick around settlements and cities. I go in..I get out...all within a day," she told him in a firm voice and started to step away with Max at her side.

Negan smirked to himself then gave Simon a playful smack on the chest with the back of his hand to get his attention. "I -Love- it when they play hard to get. They always want to be chased," he said loving her attitude.

"They sure do but be careful with that one, she seems the type to pop that blade out and cut your tongue out if you say something she don't like" Simon remarked.

"All in good fun," Negan mused and did a little jog to catch up with her. Once he did he put a friendly arm around her shoulders.

"And you're touching me why?" she asked, still walking.

He pulled his arm away and moved in front of her then held his arms out in front of him in a 'stop right there' motion. Lilly sighed annoyed, stopped and put her hands on her hips.

"Now hang on a minute. I can see you're the type of gal who's been to alot of settlements. A block of homes ran by some weird inbred freak who runs their 'town' like a damned cross of medieval England and Deliverance. Food shortages all the time, dirty water if any at all, women-especially pretty ones like you-in fear all the time of being raped or beaten, men fighting each other like animals all while a horde of fucking walkers are closing in? Ring a bell?" Negan took a step closer to her and leaned his head in for dramatic effect, "Ohhhh I know it does for you Lilly because it sure as hell does for me," he told her and pulled back. Negan put his bat behind his neck with his arms resting over it...he knew that bat like his right hand and knew right where to place anything on it.

He walked towards her with a bit of a swagger and that very nice grin of his. "Hell Lilly, we ain't perfect but we're the opposite of what I just described. Everyone gets their 3 meals a day we even have a menu that changes up. Access to showers with -hot- water, beds...real beds with sheets and mattresses..." he said then looked to Max who was sitting quietly next to her, his tail swishing softly. Negan smiled again and looked back to her, "we have a giant fence around my Sanctuary, one that protected us without an incident for years now, you know what that means Lilly?" he asked her, stopping just as he was about face-to-face with her. He smiled to her, "that means lil Max here will have a place to run around...without Mama having to worry if some Walker thinks he's dinner," he said in the deeper baritone he uses when he's physically close to someone.

Lilly blinked and her face changed in a small way, but a way Negan noticed. She had gone from a hard -no- to a maybe leaning towards a yes. Negan also noticed the dog could be used as a bargaining chip.

Lilly cleared her throat, "You're giving me a big sell just for wanting to repay me with a 'few' days of food-shower-and sleep," she noticed, keeping her guard up 100%.

Negan chuckled and pointed at her, "You...are good. Real good. I admit, I did something naughty," he said then covered his mouth with his finger tips and his eyes wide...trying to look cute.

Lilly couldn't help but chuckle as she dropped her head to shake it for a moment. This was ridiculous to her, but...entertaining.

"What did you do?" she asked.

"While you were fixing my friend I took a peak and a small rummage thru your bag," he admitted.

Lilly immediately got a cross look on her face but Negan quickly defused it by putting a hand up.

"I know I know but I was not peaking for anything 'exciting' tho..." he grinned and waggled his eyebrows, "you do have exciting things in there." His face went to normal with his usual grin, "I noticed two things. You have alot of water...and a lot of salt and sugar packets. You know what the means Simon?" he called out to him.

"No boss, I don't" Simon yelled back.

"See? Proves my point. You, my dear, have some GOTdamn common sense. Hell, not just common sense, some damned smarts...real smarts. You were making your own flavorless Gatorade for when food was low. Smart girl!" he said approvingly.

"What else did you 'notice'?" she asked.

"Not only are you street smart, common sense smart and real smart...you're a fuckin genius!" he said lifting Lucille above his head. "I saw your Masters Diploma in Psychology...you little nerd! You kickass little nerd!" he laughed merrily.

Frowning and feeling like she was being mocked, Lilly let out a whistle to Max and they walked past Negan.

"Ah shit. I am too dramatic for my own good," he grumbled to himself and caught up with her, putting an arm around her shoulder to stop her. It was a friendly arm...nothing holding her back just...pausing her as they faced away from Simon.

"Hey, Lilly...I know. I'm loud, I'm dramatic, I'm an asshole. But I meant what I said. You are smart, very smart. We don't get many PHD-types in the area anymore...besides the one doctor and the one engineer we have..." he started to explain but was interrupted by her.

"I only have my masters, I was two years away from my PHD," she explained.

"In my eyes...you've earned that 'Dr' in front of your name," he told her importantly. Her pulled his arm back and turned towards her so they faced each other. "Short and sweet okay? Mental health was ignored in the world before...and I sure as hell ain't gonna ignore in this new better world I'm trying to help create," he told her. "We've managed to scavenge a fuck-ton of medications for depression and shit and our Doctor doesn't feel right about giving scripts for illnesses he doesn't know that much about. I want my people to have healthy minds alright? So could you come back with Simon and I, check the Sanctuary out, get the rest-meals-showers we owe you...then stick around and be our resident Shrink," he asked her in a way without sounding vulnerable.

Lilly paid close attention to his final and seemingly earnest little spiel. She could smell a bit of bullshit but the offer of those things she needed and -maybe- a possible home and -mostly- somewhere safe for Max...was so so tempting.

Lilly nodded to him, "Okay, lets do this trial run thing," she said giving him a smile.

"Ha! Well fucking done Lilly! Now lets get the fuck outta here" he said joyously, gloating and strutting a bit as he walked back towards Simon with Lilly behind him and Max faithfully at her side.

Negan grinned to his friend, "see? No one can say no to me," he gloated to his friend.

Lilly narrowed her eyes and turned on her heels easily, Max doing so too.

Simon snorted and pointed it out to Negan.

"Godamnit," Negan grunted and quickly grabbed her hand, (gently) pulling her back to face him. His thumb rubbed over her hand and he gave her what she would say was a very charming smile. "You gotta let me gloat every once in awhile or I'll burst" he told her.

Lilly...laughed aloud and let him pull her to rejoin them and the 4 headed on their way.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3 : Bite Check and Other Fun**_

"Bite check? I'm guessing...I gotta strip down?" she asked knowingly.

"Yes, but once you're in your skivvies, I'll step out. The good doctor is nothing but professional. He was an OB GYN before the world went to hell if it makes you feel better," Negan explained.

"But until I'm in my skivvies?" she asked.

"I'm just a second pair of eyes," he assured her.

They headed into the infirmary and Doctor Carson introduced himself to her. He seemed to be a kind patient man, Lilly trusted him pretty quickly.

"So, i'm guessing Negan told you what we're doing here?" Carson asked to which she nodded, "he tends to use the word skivvies wrong tho. Once I need you to remove your personal clothing, then he steps out, I do need a second pair of eyes until then and...to be honest, Negan is the most non-creepy person to do so," he said smirking a bit.

"All these compliments," Negan mused, twirling his bat between his fingers.

"Just giving the patient the full information," Carson said quickly to him then looked to Lilly. "So, remove all your clothing but your bra and underwear then stand with your arms out and feet a bit apart," he explained gently.

Lilly nodded and started to undress, folding her clothes neatly on a nearby table.

"You don't seem bothered by this," Negan noticed, "show off?"

"Nope. I've seen a lot of possibly good settlements get taken down due to some jackass hiding a walker bite," she explained.

"Clever girlie," Negan chuckled softly making her roll her eyes.

Doctor Carson started looking over her skin methodically and professionally while Negan pulled her hair ties from her hair without much care.

"Ow, goddamnit," Lilly grunted. Tho, she relaxed once his hands started sorting thru her red locks and checking out her scalp. She couldn't help the goosebumps that appears on her scalp and neck.

"Your body is giving you away girlie," he said lowly and close to her ear.

"I don't trust anyone who doesn't relax when their hair is played with," she told him without falter.

He smirked and continued on with Dr Carson for a few moments before they both stepped away.

"Clear," Carson mused. "Clear...and thick," Negan noted the top half of his body bending back a bit as he looked at her lower half.

Negan then left and Carson continued before giving her the all clear and letting her redress.

"You seem capable and smart. Whatever work he gives you, be better at it than anyone else, make yourself an asset or you'll end up with him non-stop flirting until you are his wife...and I wont bother you with what number wife you'll be," Carson said gently, helpfully.

She nodded and smiled to him, "Thanks, I appreciate that," she told him before joining Negan outside the infirmary.

"It's good to see even when slightly malnourished, some women can still keep their asses," Negan teased motioning for her to follow him. "I'll show you to your room. Now...this is one of the better ones and if you do the work we spoke about...you can keep it," he informed her.

"Is my proposed work really that important?" she asked as they walked thru a long hallway.

"Getting into the heads of the people here? Hell fucking yes," he told her.

Lilly didn't look pleased.

He stopped at her door and put his back against it. "I'm not gonna ask you to report to me every time someone says I'm a douchebag..hell, I'm the head fuckin honcho...of course I'm a douchebag," he chuckled almost proudly bit then got a bit serious. "Im asking you to keep their heads straight and inform me if any of them are a danger to anyone else or our little community here," he told her.

Lilly clicked her tongue, "I guess new world ethics are going to differ from old world ethics," she mused.

"Exactly," he said pointing the head of his bat to her nose. Reaching behind him he turned the knob and opened the door and found the light switch nearby. "Go enjoy your room, we wake up at 630," he told her with a knowing smile, stopping for a moment to pet Max's head before strutting off whistling happily.

Lilly shook her head and walked in, closing the door once Max stepped in. "Holy shit," she mused. The room was like a decent motel room that had its own kitchenette and bathroom. The kitchenette area was even stocked with food. She had to take a moment to appreciate the luxury. Hell, there was even cans of wet dog food for Max.

"Jesus Max...I think we just sold our soul," she said to the pup who whined worriedly.


	4. Chapter 4 : A Days Work

**(Author's note : I hope everyone is enjoying my scribbles so far. I usually write in chunks as my muse allows so most of the time you'll get a couple of chapters at a time. Please do all the normal things one does when you like a story-favorite it and such, and please do leave reviews. Reviews keep me going in a lot of ways. I'm pretty shy about publishing my stories so yeah, the reviews just let me know someone out there is enjoying them. Thanks again ya'll :) )**

  
 ** _Chapter 4 : A Days Work_**

The following morning Lilly woke up around 5am. She didn't like being an early riser but it had been a necessity. After getting dressed and eating a damned good breakfast, her and Max headed out of her room and into the main area. Lilly looked around and sighed, she would need a room to 'talk' to people in but she was sure in a place like this...space was scarce. BUT...initiative had to be taken, she needed Negan to notice that about her and not much else. That's when she noticed an office door and headed over to it. It was unlocked so hopefully a room she was allowed to be in. Leaving the door open she stepped inside and looked around. It was small but there was a desk covered in dust as well as an office chair, even shelves on the walls. This had been some..middle-managers office for sure. The room had a shit-ton of boxes being kept in it tho, most paper and other office supplies, she started to check them out and Max sniffed around...cutely sneezing due to the dust every so often.

"You know, you keep taking my ideas and we're gonna have to set up joint custody for the brain cell we apparently share," Negan said as he leaned against the door way.

Lilly was leafing thru a personal psychology whomever had this office used to read, she didn't even looked to him. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I was thinking this office would be good for you, I figured a shrink would prefer privacy when talking to their patients," he said, stepping in and closing the door behind him. Max became on-guard.

"Why did you close the door?" she asked putting down the book and looked to him.

"Doctor patient confidentiality," he said with a smirk and stepped close to her.

She sighed annoyingly and tilted her head to the side some. "You're not my patient," she told him.

"But I have some real deep shit I need to get off my chest," he told her with a faux pout, holding his hand to his heart.

"I doubt that, you brag about the things you've done and the things you have going for you, I doubt there's anything you keep to yourself," she told him.

He walked closer to her and soon had her pinned against the desk, his upper body loomed over her so she bent back putting her hands on the desk behind her. His arms rested on the desk on either side of her.

"What are you doing?" she asked narrowing her eyes.

"Testing the waters," he smiled 'charmingly' and put his bat down against his leg then gripped her hips.

"I thought you had rules, serious rules against this kinda thing," he reminded him.

"Like I said, I'm just seeing what's here," he told her, his nose almost touching hers.

That's when he heard a low viscous growl. His eyes looked up and Max was on the desk, next to his arm. The fur on Max's neck and back was standing up and all of his teeth were exposed.

"Call off the pup Lilly," Negan said lowly, seriously.

"Can't. You see, he's part pit and he's -very- attached to me. He will literally fight anyone who gets too close to me the wrong way until he cannot move anymore," she informed him.

"Then I'll make sure he cannot move anymore," warned Negan, motioning to his bat.

"Ah, you see, that won't work because if you hurt him..." she mused, lifting her arm and extending the blade on her weapon...putting it to his neck, "I will kill you where you stand...and that doesn't really suit me. See, once found out, I'll most likely be shot on sight...but you'll already be dead. This is up to you Negan," she said in a low voice.

Oddly smiling, she quickly kissed her forehead then backed up with his hands up. He backed away and grabbed his bat. Lilly stood up straight.

"Oh, you're going to be fun, Ha!" he laughed as he walked out, whistling a happy tune.

She shut the door and took a moment to breathe then walked over to Max to pet his sides. "Good boy, thank you," she mew'ed and kissed between his eyes which got her a soft lick on the cheek.

Lilly got to work on empting her new office of the boxes to a spot where Simon stopped by and told her to put them. Around lunch time (1230) she was finished, a bit dusty, sweaty and tired, but she had finished. Stretching her sore muscles out she headed to her room for a bit of lunch...tho she stopped suddenly in surprise in her doorway.

Sitting on her bed was a cleaned-up electric guitar and hooked up to it was a small amp..plus a pair of headphones. She had to blink a few times as she got Max inside and shut the door behind her. Lilly walked to the guitar and inspected it ; it was a Les Paul Special Pro EX, sunburst green.

"How the hell did he know I play AND this was my favorite color," she asked Max who just looked up to her with his usual happy panting face. She then discovered a note on the amp and grabbed it so she could read it.

"Yeah yeah, I know I acted like an ass earlier. It was a bit of a test and you definitely passed...tho that doesn't mean these games are gonna end. I could 'see' that you're a music fan so think of this as a 'welcome' present from me. Don't brag and don't forget to wear the headphones. -Negan" she read aloud.

Lilly shook her head as she realized how he knew. The 'bite' check, he saw her music staff tattoo on the back of her neck, in the middle of it was a guitar shaped to look like a music staff.

"Ohhh Max, he's good," she chuckled, taking the pick from the strings and giving the guitar a strum. "And it's intune, damn he's good," she smirked shaking her head.


	5. Chapter 5 : Office Politics

**_Chapter 5 : Office Politics_**

After about a month, Lilly really settled in. She managed to have a session with everyone there, except Negan and Simon of course and she kept sessions going with some people. The people had a lot to say, a lot to get off their collective chests...and it was all worrying. Most everyone fears Negan and were in constant fear for their lives. Plus everyone was in some sort of grief due to the world being how it was these days. It was a lot to take on in one month for Lilly. She was told by a Professor while in college that most shrinks, once they start working in their vocation, would suffer a minor...crises of sorts. Taking in everyone's grief was a tough thing to do and one had to become calloused to it, but that took awhile.

Lilly laid back on her bed with her portable CD player on her stomach. She loved music and this was the best way to keep it with her since CD's were barely touched and double AA batteries were around. Her ankles crossed over each other and one foot was 'tapping' to the music, eyes closed as she jammed to what had been the Gorillaz newest album. The thought that none of her favorite bands would put out albums again was very depressing to her. Max was in his kennel resting after a big lunch.

Opening her eyes she yelped out in fright and sat up, clunking forehead with Negan who had been standing over her and put his face right above hers.

"AHhhh! Fuck! Ow! Godamnit Negan, what the shit dude?!" she cursed, rubbing her head sorely.

"Fucking shit girlie! Your reactions to things need to change," he frowned, rubbing his head as well.

Lilly got up and took a small bag of frozen veggies from her freezer. She walked over to him and held them against the sore part of his head, looking very annoyed.

A coy smile came over his lips, "Aww, you care."

Frowning, she gave the bag a firm press against his noggin then let him hold it as she sat down on the edge of her bed. "Why are you in my room?" she asked.

"Ow! Damnit!" he grunted. "I was just making a courtesy call, making sure the new girlie is adapting to life here...and to see how your job is working out for ya," he told, plopping down next to her.

Lilly scooted over some, "I told you if something serious came up I would tell you..."

Negan put his hand up, "I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about you," he said as he tossed the bag of veggies into the sink. "Can't be easy listening to everyone whine all day," he smirked, making himself comfortable by laying back and slipping his arms under his head.

She rolled her eyes some and shook her head, "They're not whining, they're expressing real fears Negan. These days, the amount of therapists to people should be 1 to 1...that's how bad it is for most of us," she tried to explain to him.

"See? I try to talk about you and you go change the subject," he noted, "what are you hiding?" he asked her curiously.

"Nothing at all. I'm not like you, I don't find pleasure in talking about myself," she retorted.

"Youuuuuu...are mean, you know that?" he asked.

Before she could answer him, he grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her down next to him. She didn't have time to react before he moved to loom the upper half of his body over hers and pinned her 'weaponed arm' to the bed. His other hand kept him above her some.

From his kennel Max barked very unhappily and growled.

"Oh shut up, I'm not gonna do anything," Negan told the dog then smiled down to her.

"Da fuck dude?" Lilly asked annoyedly.

"You know, you are very uptight around me. I give you a home, a nice room, a very nice guitar..."

"All which I thanked you for, earnestly," she reminded him.

"Oh I know and I appreciate that. But you're not very good at being friendly. You keep to yourself unless you're working. I don't like when people do the bare minimum around here," he told her, bopping her nose with his finger.

"Uhhh, I work very hard thank you and I even been on hunts when we've had walkers in the area," she said.

"No no, that's all true but what I've noticed is that you don't have A friend...at all. Is there no one you confide in? Come on now..." he said knowingly, "you have to have shit on your mind."

"Negan, stop pretending like you care. You're just fucking with me for some weird reason."

"I am offended!" he said with dramatic flair. "I do not just fuck around...I always have a reason to do the things I do," he told her with a grin. He pulled her weaponed arm closer to her head (bending it at the elbow) and with his palm still firmly on the arm, his fingers managed to undo her bun and run his fingers thru her hair.

Lilly closed her eyes and her breathing relaxed, "You asshole," she mused. It was a weakness, everyone had one, she wished she didn't.

"Well yeah...but you're relaxed now aren't ya?" he asked with a knowing smile. His eyes caught the neckline to her tank top; he took his free hand that was propping himself up and used his index finger to pull the neckline right above her chest up a tiny bit and look down it. "Nice," he said simply, letting it snap back before returning his arm to its place.

A snort and a laugh left her nose and lips, "You are real fucking stupid at times," she said, nearly smiling.

"There ya go, see? Was that so hard? You gotta have some fun girlie...no one with multiple tattoo's should be as boring as you have been," he said, moving his arm that was holding her weaponed arm and placed it so he could prop himself up higher, feeling that she wouldn't attack him.

Of course Lilly's first thought was to threaten him but she figured he meant no harm...well, real harm. He had to trust her to a point and if she had to play his games so be it.

"What do you want me to do Negan? Play some practical jokes? Have a standup routine ready?" she asked him.

"Practical jokes are great..especially if they're at Dwight's expense," he smirked. He grabbed her free arm and stood it up at the elbow so he could rest his head on it.

"Lazy-ass, lift your own damn head!" she exclaimed.

"Nah, I can do this now," he grinned and used both hands to massage her scalp. Since he had nothing propping himself up their bodies were now against each others tho he used his back to lighten his weight on her.

"Oh fuck you," she laughed.

"There we go...and here I was thinking you didn't have teeth...also, don't tempt me girlie," he told her.

"Dude, you have...how many wives? You have so much pussy at your dispense you're drowning in it," she reminded him.

"You are a scholar when it comes to words, I love it," he said almost excitedly. "Besides, I'm not one to ignore sexual tension."

"Sexual tension my ass, you've only recently moved from disdain to 'dain' in my book," she scoffed.

Smiling smugly, he shifted himself upwards so his entire body was laying over top of hers. His head loomed over her face, he just looked at her for a moment..letting her squirm.

"Negan...get off of me, we can tal-"

She was interrupted with a very passionate kiss...one she ended up returning tho her brain screamed at her not to. But very quickly she found her lips parting in order to let their tongues swirl around with the other. Her hands balled into fists...but relaxed as her arms wrapped around him.

 **-Stop it, stop it right now!-** she thought to herself as she kept kissing him back. **-This is a bad idea and you know it!-** her inner voice yelled.

His hand came up to hold the side of her neck and she shivered underneath of him.

 **-Im a goner-** she thought to herself.


	6. Chapter 6 : Ethics 0 Lilly 1

_**Chapter 6 : Ethics 0 Lilly 1**_

He pulled back from her lips and kept one hand running thru her hair.

Lilly let out a breath, "Okay, you won. You made the big bad shrink loosen up, can we stop now?"

"We can stop any time you want, but do you want to? You already look a lot happier," he smirked.

"Yes Negan, you are gods gift to womens moods," she said deadpan.

"Hey, someone has to take care of the shrink," he shrugged. Negan moved off of her but only to lay right at her side with an arm around her waist...keeping her tight against him.

"At least I can breathe now," she grumbled straightening her clothes.

"Here's my thinking. If the one person who's supposed to take in everyone elses shit goes nuts...I don't want to have to put you down, ya feel me?" he asked seriously.

"Negan, I'm a shrink...not The Giver...I wont end up just running away."

"I hope not," he said as his fingers played with the hem of her shirt on the far side of her body. "You're already becoming pretty important and I don't have to keep an eye on you because you could take on most anyone here," he told her.

Lilly smiled even blushed a bit.

"There it is. The Shrink just needs to be loved on and told how good she is," he teased.

Lilly frowned quickly and looked to him.

"Je-Sus girlie, you go from 60 to 0 real damn quick!"

Pushing his arm away she sat up and quickly re-bunned her hair. "You should go, Im sure you have something to take care of," she muttered.

Negan sat up and rested his chin on her shoulder, "I'll go..but you know. I could marry you and let you know just how wonderful you are everyday," he said batting his eyes trying to be cute.

Lilly was not happy with his proposal so she got up, almost causing him to fall chin first onto her bed.

"This new world kinda sucks so I'm not going to add to it by being Negan's Wife number 212 to it. So I respectfully decline," she said then opened her door. "Please? I have things to look over," she asked him trying to be nice.

With his oh-so-charming smile, he got up and headed to the door she was holding open but he stopped at her to look her up and down.

"Eh, you're right...it's date night. I have 'things' to look over myself, ya dig?" he smirked and left.

Lilly closed her door and stood with her back against it. Her eyes caught the time on a clock on the wall. It was a half past five. She laughed softly and walked over to Max.

"I only call you when its half past five. The only time that I'll be at your side..." she laughed against and let her little man out of the kennel. "Come on Max, let's get you outside," she said as she walked out, the dog following her faithfully.


	7. Chapter 7 : DogGone It

_**Chapter 7 :**_ ** _DogGone It_**

A few days after the incident, Lilly found herself getting ready with a bunch of Negans officers to clear out a small herd of Walkers that threatened the area. Max was with her, on guard, ready to help his 'mama'. A couple other non-officers were there, hoping to earn more shares. Negan came around the corner, with his bat over his shoulder, doing his usual cock-of-the walk step.

"Who's ready to bash some heads?!" he called out to his men.

Everyone cheered but Lilly, she was inspected her weapon.

He pointed his bat to her, "newbie, with me," he said.

Lilly frowned and shook her head lightly, getting into the jeep Simon was driving him in. To avoid conversation and get a bit pumped up, she put her head phones in, her CD player in a pocket she made on the inside of the flannel shirt she wore. They drove along quietly for a bit, her eyes closed as Max sat panting between her legs on the floor of the jeep. Negan noticed her suddenly playing what looked to be bass on her kneecap. He pulled an earbud from her ear, getting her attention.

"Whatcha gettin pumped to?" he asked.

"Daft Punk, Burnin'," she informed him.

"Not bad, at least its older Daft Punk, you need some hard rock tho."

"I listen to plenty of hard rock, thanks," she said and put the earbud back in to end their conversation.

After another 15 minutes of driving they stopped. There was no herd in sight but Max jumped out and did the 'pointer' stance to the direction they were in. Lilly left her CD player in the jeep and exited out of the jeep.

"Helluva nose on the pup," Negan said stepping out and gave the dog a pet on his head which he actually gave Negan a quick lick for.

"So why am I tagging along with you? You do know I survived for years without anyone else," she told him.

"True, but you should learn to count on others, work as a team," he told her.

She nodded, he actually made sense. Following Max's lead they headed towards the area the smart dog pointed out and soon found a small herd thru a thicket of trees...the walkers themselves in a clearing.

"Tell Max to fall back, we'll take care of them ourselves," he whispered to her.

Lilly nodded and made a simple hand motion, Max followed and moved back behind them, at ease for now.

"Lets pick off the ones on the outside then regroup here," he told her.

"There's only like ten of them, we could..."

"Listen to me for once?" he asked tho in a serious tone.

Lilly nodded. After giving a count, they both ran to the sides of the herd, slicing and clobbering the stragglers on the outside then running back to their meeting point.

"Now, they know we're here and are following us, lets finish them off," he told her.

She agreed, this time they just walked out and started to move into the crowd, picking off those nearest to them. Lilly's astute eyes notice they were trying to circle around them.

"Back to back! Now!" she yelled to Negan who followed suite and pressed his back against hers. The two fought pretty damn well together, clearing the herd without much fuss. When they were done they took a moment to catch their breath.

"Not bad girlie, I may have to make you a part-time officer," he smirked, pulling her in for a hug rather she liked it or not.

She did like it, she wasn't proud...but after years of no human contact..this felt nice. So she hugged him back lightly then pulled away.

"You're not to bad yourself," she told him.

Just as they were finished celebrating, Max came running over to them, he whimpered loudly and pointed to their East. Lilly and Negan got quiet. They heard footsteps, human footsteps.

"Shit, there's a group in this area...come on," he said, grabbing her hand as he started to run into an abandoned home with Max. They hid in a small pantry but Max wouldn't come in, he had to protect.

"Max, come in, now," she scolded him. Max nosed their door shut and Negan had to hold her back so she wouldn't chase him.

They continued to hear the footsteps get closer. It came into the house, searched around then left. Figuring they were in the clear, Negan went to open the door when they both heard a gunshot. Lilly's eyes went big and she let out a gasp, to which Negan covered her mouth...stroking her hair as they both realized what most likely just got shot. He looked almost lovingly into her eyes as her tears started to fall over his hand.

Once the sounds went away, Negan gripped her hand and they left the room, heading outside right away.

Lilly's eyes went big again and all the blood drained from her face as she saw Max laying there, a bullet wound in his gut. She rushed over to him and immediately pulled the dying pup into her lap.

"Max, no, no buddy, you're okay, it's okay..." she whimpered, petting him.

Negan came over and looked at the situation. He noticed mixed with Max's blood was other bodily fluids...stomach contents and liver bile.

"Fuck! Fucking fuckers!" he shouted, swinging his bat at no one.

Lilly picked Max up, "We have to get him, I'm sure Carson can help him," she told Negan importantly.

Max lifted his head to his owner, blood coming out of his nose, and licked her chin...his tail wagging slowly...until it suddenly stopped.

"Max, come on baby boy, please," she said and when he didn't move...she started to sob, holding his lifeless body to hers..his blood smearing along her clothes.

Negan said nothing, put an arm around her shoulders as they headed back to the jeep. Simon was there and saw them...and Max...and he frowned, shaking his head. They all got back to the jeep and headed back to Sanctuary where they met the other officers.

The others, seeing Lilly carrying a lifeless Max all reacted. Some bowed their heads, some let a few tears dropped, some just shook their heads. They all knew Max, they all had given him scraps of food, they all had petted him and played with him out back. They knew Lilly too, the one who took in all their problems...the one who knew more dirty jokes than most of the men. All their hearts broke.

She just held him against her chest as Simon grabbed someone and started to dig a hole.

Negan moved in front of his men, he spoke loudly. "We lost an officer today. Max was nothing less than that so we will treat his death like the death of one of our own!" he told them in a serious tone to which they agreeably nodded. "This smart little pup was one of the bravest men to have ever grace Sanctuary," he concluded.

Simon had found a potato sack that with Lilly's help, they put Max into. The crowd walked over to the grave, silent as Lilly laid him in there as Simon grabbed the shovel, but Lilly stopped him. She took the shovel and filled in the hole herself, her face blank, her movements on auto. Once it was done, she dropped the shovel, said nothing and walked to her room.

"Let her grieve. Max was like...no, he was her child, and her grief shouldn't be treated as anything less. Go on now," he told them.

Everyone left and Negan ran his fingers thru hair with a deep angry frown, Simon stood next to him.

"Find the son of a bitch that did this. There was no reason to do this, the dog didn't deserve this..at all," he growled. Simon merely nodded and quickly got into a jeep.

Negan took a breath then headed to Lily's room, he just walked in and closed the door behind her. She was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking to Max's blood that was still on her hands. He walked over to her, his hands grabbing her wrists softly and pulled her to stand.

"Come on Girlie, lets wash you off," he said taking her to the kitchen sink and pretty much washed her hands off for her. Lilly was quiet, her face still blank, and no responses from her. He moved her to sit back down on the edge of her bed. "I'm gonna help you change your shirt okay?" he told her seeing that it was covered in his blood tho her jeans were clean. Negan found one of her tee-shirts and without one grope or comment, took off the bloodied on and put the clean one on.

He maneuvered them so he was sitting against the wall her bed was against and pulled her to sit between his legs, her body leaning back against his. He ran his fingers thru her hair.

"You ain't gotta say nothing girlie ya feel me? You just sit there as long as you like...I'll be right here," he told her in a soft voice.

For some reason, his concern and caring nature got to her. Her face scrunched up and she started to sob, her face turning to bury itself in his chest.

"It hurts..." she managed to squeak out.

Negan nodded, "Yeah, its gonna. Lost is inevitable in our world...even before the Walkers came," he sighed. "You know, I lost my wife...Lucille...to cancer before all this shit started. I thank whomever is listening for not allowing her to come back as one of those 'things'. She didn't deserve that...any of it,"he admitted to her.

Sniffling, Lilly looked up to him, "Is that why you have multiple wives now? To fill that emptiness?" she asked.

"Even when you're grieving your shrink brain goes to work," he looked down to her with a smirk.

She couldn't help but let out a sad laugh. "I'm sorry," she frowned and rested her head back on his chest...finding comfort there.

"Nah, its okay, Im sure you know that a person in your position will find some way for their brain to escape," he said quite smartly.

She nodded and got quiet for awhile, he just held her and ran his fingers thru her hair, letting her lay there as long as she needed. After an hour he realized she was asleep, a smile coming over his face as he kissed the top of her head. Being as slick as he could, he escaped from under her and covered her up with the blanket on her bed.

Looking around, he got an idea and moved to her kitchen, he started to get pots and pans out.


	8. Chapter 8 : Dinner and A Show

_**Chapter 8 : Dinner and A Show**_

After an hour of just being plain passed out, Lilly woke up with a snort and slightly confused. She sniffed out a scent...spaghetti sauce? When her eyes cleared up she saw Negan in her kitchen area stirring a wooden spoon in a tall pot. He was even wearing an apron which made her chuckle.

"Don't you laugh at my apron girlie, I don't like making a mess," he said without looking at her as he put a pot of water on a burner to get it boiling.

She swung her legs over the edge of her bed and took a moment. The pain was still there and it really fucking hurt, her heart was broken...but she had tough-ole Negan in her kitchen fixing her dinner, and somehow that comforted her. Hell, he already had her little table set and a bottle of wine chilling. She got up and walked over to the bucket of ice in the middle of the table and looked to the wine with a curious face.

Negan turned to look at her, "I figured a little booze would make you feel better," he smirked.

She sighed softly and put the bottle back, "Negan, this is all really sweet but I-"

"Ah, no. You're not going to politely tell me to shove off. You're going to eat something and I'm gonna make sure you do, ya dig?" he interrupted her.

Lilly hung her head and scoffed a bit, she lifted her head and put her hands on her hips. There was an indignant look on her face.

"Look, I had a father so I really don't need another one okay? So do me a favor? Finish up cooking, wash the fucking dishes then get the fuck outta my room!" she scolded him. Lilly then turned away before he could say anything and moved to lay on her bed, facing away from him, and pulled her pillow lightly over her head.

Negans face remained neutral. He turned off the sauce and put a lid on it while the water waited to boil. He walked over to the bed and moved so he was spooning her gently from behind. He tossed the pillow that was on her head away.

"You done?" he asked simply.

"I don't even know," she frowned.

"That's alright."

"Why are you being so nice Negan? Why have you seemingly concentrated your efforts on me?" she asked out of the blue.

"You haven't figured it out?" he asked with a smirk. "I like ya girlie and I meant what I said awhile about a shrink having someone to blow off steam with. You'll lose your mind...hell, you'll willingly do that before letting anyone in," he said.

"Come on Negan, I'm not fragile, I think I've proven that."

"Oh, I didn't mean that. I know you could kick my and anyone's ass, I just don't want to see one of my best people have a melt down."

Lilly got quiet when he mentioned her being one of his best people. Negan then got up, "time to cook the pasta," he grinned and moved back over to the stove. After a few moments she got up and moved over to the table, opening the chilled wine and pouring them each a glass. Before too long there was spaghetti on their plates and a fresh loaf of bread sliced. They sat down.

Negan raised a glass, "To our health," he said.

Lilly smiled, raised her glass and clinked hers gently against his then they each took a sip.

"Mmm, how is it?" he asked setting his glass down.

"Not bad. I'm not much of a fine wine drinker...I usually drank Manischewitz because it tasted like alcoholic grape juice," she chuckled softly.

"Ah, cut right to the chase of getting drunk, I feel you," he laughed and started to eat.

Lilly dug in herself being exceptionally hungry. She was surprised...it was actually pretty damn good. A good flavor profile, layers of flavor and the meatballs were flavorful and tender...she ate happily.

Negan noticed this, "Like my cooking? This is the one dish I do well," he told her.

She nodded and licked a bit of sauce from her lips, "Its really really good," she told him earnestly.

They ate in silence from that point but it was a comfortable silence, nothing had to be said. Once they were finished, Lilly collected their dishes and headed over to the sink to get them washed.

Negan rubbed his belly happily, finished his wine then got up and moved behind her. His arms slipped around her waist and he just stood there holding her.

Human contact was sorely needed right now but she knew she was not in the right mindset. Tho...just that bit made her pain ease up. He rested his chin on her shoulder and Lilly found herself resting her face against the side of his. He turned his head some and pressed his lips against her cheek, keeping them there as she washed the dishes...but she stopped. Her heart beating quickly, she turned her head and pressed her forehead against his, a couple of tears streaming down her face. Negan could see the pain in her face and pushed his fingers thru her hair.

"Poor girlie, I know, it's alright," he whispered, "I gotcha."

She nodded some and lifted her head up. Her hands suddenly came up and rested on his cheeks then she kissed him. It was all her this time, but he was happy to return the affection as he held the back of his head.

When she pulled back he started to kiss along her jawline, her eyes fluttered some.

"Let me take care of you the best way humans know how to," he said between each kiss, his hands slipping under the back of her shirt and rubbed along her lower back and bra-line.

"Negan, I don't need a bunch of wives wanting to beat my ass," she grumbled against his ear between kisses along the lobe.

He let out a breathy sigh, "They don't need to know. What goes on outside their apartment is none of their business," he told her. His hands quickly wrapped around her, lifted her up (causing her to make a cute little yelping noise) and set her down on a nearby cabinet. He yanked off the apron he was wearing and moved his lips down her neck. "Tell me no and I'll stop right now...with no hard feelings," he said as his lips were now kissing along her collarbone.

Lilly kissed the top of his head and felt her entire body melt. "Keep going, I just want this pain to stop," she admitted.

A big smile came over his face and he got face to face with her again, "Anything you want Lilly," he told her earnestly, kissing her passionately.

Her legs wrapped around his hips and her hands slipped under the back of his shirt, her warm hands on his skin making him growl lowly as his own hands started to lift the hem of her shirt upwards.

Suddenly, alarms went off. There was a breach. The two looked to each other for a moment then immediately got into action, Lilly grabbing her weapon and putting it on her arm as she ran out with Negan to the main area. By the time they got out ther, 3 men laid dead along with a half dozen or so walkers.

"FUCK! How the fuck did this happen!" he roared out when he saw the scene, nearly all the officers had gathered as well by now and a majority of the civilians as well to see what was going on. From behind him a timid voice spoke up, "The... the gate, it wasn't latched correctly sir," said a young man, probably just under 20. Negan wheeled on him, his gaze burning with anger, "The fuckin' gate wasn't fuckin' latched fuckin' correctly! Who's the shithead in charge of making sure that happens!?" he demanded, the boys head dropped as he answered, "I am.." Just then Simon spoke up, "Hey.. that's the kid that opened the gate with such good timing a few months ago. Nice timing kid," he said with a chuckle. Negan looked over his shoulder at Simon's comment, "No kidding," the look of rage gone as he chuckled some, "Well shit kid, that was damn nice timing," he mused before suddenly swinging Lucille, the barbed wire bat connecting with a sickening thud and gasps from the crowd. The young man was down with the first blow but Negan was just starting, "Stupid fucking fuck! You leave the gate open!" he yelled, his bat connecting with each exclamation, "Three men! Three! Dead because of you! You stupid shit!" he raged, his eyes burning as he cursed at the lifeless, practically headless corpse.

Lilly watched in horror as she watched Negan kill the young man for an honest but deadly mistake. Her stomach dropped and she could not believe what she had ignored for so long...all of it was right there infront of her. Before he noticed her gone, she had quickly moved back into her room and shut the door, hurrying to the bathroom to throw up the dinner they had just shared. Her mind raced as she caught her breath, she looked to herself in the mirror. Fright took over and she winced as she heard her door knocked on.


	9. Chapter 9: Make A Deal With the Bad Wolf

_**Chapter 9 : Ima Make a Deal With The Bad Wolf**_

 ** _(so the bad wolf don't bite no more...)_**

After her not answering Negan just walked in, Lilly was just stepping out of the bathroom. He smiled big and was quick to grab her hips and put her back on the counter, his hands on either side of her.

"Where were we?" he asked, his lips going right for her neck. As he continued to kiss her he noticed she was not responding. "What's wrong?" he asked looking to her.

"You murdered that kid," she said quietly, her gaze dropping from his.

"No, I got revenge for 3 of my men ending up dead due to his incompetence," he explained tucking her hair behind her ear softly.

She shook her head and hopped off the counter, moving to lay on her bed facing away from him again. Negan frowned and moved over to her, pulling her to lay on her back as he laid next to her, his upper body looming over hers.

"What is wrong with you? A few minutes ago you were raring to go?" he asked as if they had just paused for a break.

"Watching someone get their head bashed into nothing tends to take me out of the mood," she told him.

He grinned and nuzzled her ear, "Oh not me girlie," he whispered into her ear.

Lilly sat up quickly, pushing him away so he sat on his knees.

"Of course it doesn't because you're a disgusting evil piece of shit that it has taken me waaaaaaay too long to realize," she told him.

Negan frowned and got up off her bed, he grabbed Lucille just in case.

"I've never changed who I was," he told her matter of factly.

"Yeah? But I did. I dumbed myself down for you," she said standing up and got very close to him. "Walkers have more humanity than you Negan! At least they kill to feed because their brains don't tell them any better. You kill to show dominance because you're too weak to do any better!" she snarled.

"You know, I'm really beginning not to like how you talk to me," he growled lifting the head of Lucille to her chin. "Watch your mouth girlie," he told her darkly.

"Or what Negan? You'll kill me where I stand? No, you'd drag me out in front of everyone then kill me to prove a point," she said knowing just how he worked now. "Go on Negan, right now, kill me. If you're man enough to do so right here...then do it!" she yelled grabbing his bat, not caring that the barbed wire cut into her hand some and placed it to rest on top of her head. "Do it right now because if you think I'm just going to shut up about the horrid things you do, then you 'cared' for the wrong person," she growled, breathing heavily.

There was a tense silence for a minute or two until Negan placed his bat down on her bed and pulled her close for a sudden and tight hug. Lilly's eyes opened wide as she felt herself being squeezed to him, her head resting on his chest...she closed her eyes as she heard his heart about to thump out of his chest.

He nuzzled his face into the top of her head, "Christ girlie, I couldn't do that. I don't think I could ever hurt you..no matter what you've done," he admitted softly.

She sighed, "Negan, we don't mesh well. We're on opposite ends here. Just...let me go, let me leave and you won't have to bother with me nor hear from me ever again," she said lifting her head up to look up at him.

He looked down to her as a hand came up so his thumb could caress over her high cheek bone. "No, no way. I have an even better plan," he said looking to the clock. "Everyone should be at dinner, come on," he said grabbing her hand and Lucille as he pulled her out of the room. He literally dragged her to the canteen, letting go of her hand as they stepped in.

"Everyone, shut the fuck up!" he announced raising his hands and Lucille for silence. "Now as far as I'm concerned our friend Lilly has passed the bar so I want everyone...fuckin' everyone...to do their best to truly welcome her. Matter of fact, she says jump, you don't even wait to ask how high, you start fuckin hoppin' until she's happy...feel me? She is now my Second In Command," he declared, looking around at everyone to see if there would be any challenges but saw nothing but silence and small nods of consent. Negan looked to her and motioned for her to follow him out of the canteen...they headed back to her room.

"What the hell did you do that for?" she asked in awe. "I suggest we separate and you make me your number two?" she asked incredulously.

They stepped into her room so they could talk privately, sitting next to each other on her bed.

"I did one better girlie. I want you at my side at all times. I want you to be my eyes, ears, and my conscience," he told her seriously.

She shook her head, "You said it yourself, you are who you are...Im not super woman. I'm not going to be able to change you," she said shaking her head with her palm on her forehead.

"True...but I know for a fact you won't bullshit me. I like Simon, he's damn good at his work, but even he is scared of me enough to not tell me everything that's going on," he explained. "I need someone...you...to tell me what's really going on. To tell me when Im acting the fool, give me your point of view. You may not want to admit it, but you care about me," he said, that last part a bit teasingly with a smirk on his face. His face got soft and he took her hand into his, "Okay? Will you do that?" he asked gently.

Lilly opened her mouth for a moment but no words came out, she then shook her head and finally spoke. "Yeah Negan, sure," she said giving in.

"Im glad, Im damn fuckin glad," he grinned and kissed her forehead. "Okay, first things first, you're moving into waaaay better digs. No second-in-command of mine is going to live like this," he said getting up to open her door and waved Simon in who knew to be there somehow.

"Yeah Boss?" he asked, "Everything...okay?" he asked again curiously.

Negan smirked, "Yes sir. I meant everything I said, but don't worry, you're still my right hand man, she's just..my left hand woman," he laughed.

Simon nodded with a smile then looked over to Lilly, "Good to have you on the team," he said kindly.

"Thanks Simon," she said gently.

"Okay, I want you to grab some men, get her things packed, dishes washed and all that, and move her into the apartment below mine," he told him.

"Gotcha," Simon said and headed off to get going.

"You," Negan said to Lilly and waved her over to him. Once she was besides him he put an arm over her shoulder. "We need to talk about a few things and I want to show you something," he said as they headed to the front and into a jeep. "We're gonna take a ride," he grinned, starting the jeep up and drove off.


	10. Chapter 10:Benefits of Selling Your Soul

**Chapter 10 : Selling Your Soul Has Benefits**

3 days later, Lilly's old room was empty and Negan was walking her up the stairs to what would be her new 'apartment'. He unlocked the door for her, giving her a wink as he opened the door grandly, letting her walk in first.

"...Jesus Christ Negan...this is too much," she mew'ed as she stepped inside and looked around.

It was just plain lovely. It reminded her of a home before all the shit hit all the fans. It was furnished with dark cherry oak furniture, there was a bar that separated the living room from the kitchen...hell, she had honest to god rooms! Lilly walked back to a hallway and opened the door to what would be her bedroom. There was a four post canopy bed decked out in silk sheets. The room even had the christmas lights she put in her own room as a nice way of giving herself reading light while giving it a warm glow. All of her things were already in place. She checked out her en suite which was more fabulous than she ever could imagine then headed back into the hallway and found another bathroom. Shaking her head she walked back out to the living room where Negan was making them each a whiskey at her bar.

"It's too much...I should get a roommate," she said taking the whiskey he offered her and sucked it back quickly.

He laughed and sipped his drink, "Ah, that's where -this- comes in," he said and motioned for her to follow him back into her room. He opened the closet door and pointed to the ceiling in it. "Whomever lived here before had a goregous fuckin secretary Im guessin that he wanted easy access to," he smirked as he pulled open a trap door, a small stair case fell down and it led right up to his bedroom.

"Negan...come on now," Lilly said giving him her famous 'are you fucking kidding me' look.

"Don't look at me girlie," he defended himself as he put it all away, "I didn't build it...I'm just really gonna fuckin enjoy it," he winked to her.

"You think that huh?" she asked leaning against the nearby wall, bending her leg at her knee so her foot resting back against it.

He swaggered over to her and put his hands on the wall above her head, leaning in real close. "Yeah, I do," he said as his face leaned in to hers.

There was a knock at the door.

Negan growled, "I'm going to get you a damned 'do not disturb sign'," he said as he headed to open the door with her behind him. Upon opening it, a few men walked in holding Max's old things, making Lilly frown and cover her face as she turned away. She heard Negan talk to the last man who walked in, thanking him for his 'work' then shut the door. As she tried to regain her composure, she felt little tufts of air at her ear...then a sandpapery tongue lick at it.

"Negan," she removed her hands, "you're not cute," she said and turned around...she froze.

In his arms was a tan and black german shepard puppy that had big floppy ears, he looked around panting happily.

"I know this isn't Max girlie but...he needs a damned good Mama to train him and love him and shit. We found this little guy yesterday, Carson fixed him up with all his shots, sadly his real mama passed away due to a walker," he said gently putting the puppy in her arms. Lilly took the puppy into her arms and held him warmly, kissing the top of its little head. Negan could tell by her increase breathing she was trying not to cry.

"You like him?" he asked softly.

"I love him," she whimpered, sniffling with a laugh, "I feel like a damn kid..." she said disappointed in herself for her reaction.

"Fuck no, you're a woman who lost someone close to her and now you have this soon to be tough lil fucker to fill that void and shit," he grinned and petted the top of the pups head. "Whatcha gonna name him?" he asked.

"Logan," she said right away, "Wolverines name. He's gonna be tough but I can see he's a sweetheart deep down," she grinned, letting the pup lick at her face. She carried him over to what used to be Max's kennel, filled his little dishes with water and puppy food then set him inside the kennel so he could get familiar with it. Wiping her face of tears, she walked over to Negan and slipped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

He smiled and did the same to her. "You're a big fuckin softy...and a nerd," he teased.

"Shut up," she muttered, resting her head the favored spot on his chest. "Why do you coddle me so damn much? I'm going to get used to it," she frowned.

"Well yeah you better fuckin do so because I'm just gonna keep it up. I want to coddle you and Im gonna...so deal with it girlie," he told her as if it was law.

"You shouldn't play favorites Negan. It will put a bullseye on my back," she sighed.

"If anyone says any-fucking-thing, they'll have to talk to Lucille," he growled, holding her tighter against him.

Lilly had to admit it, it felt nice to have someone so protective of her and so concerned with her well being and feelings. But still, she felt there was something behind his motives.

"Negan, we need to talk," she mused moving to the bar and making them both a splash of whiskey, she then motioned for him to follow her to her room...which put a spring into his step. Once inside she closed the door and gave him his drink and quickly drank hers while he sipped on it.

Lilly sat on the edge of her new bed, "Negan, I need to ask. Do you...like...love me?" she asked gently.

He laughed and finished off his drink, setting the glass down on her vanity and sat down next to her. "Why don't you think I haven't bugged you about being my wife?" he asked her, raising his eyebrow.

She shrugged, "I figured you just, like...wanted me around as an easy fuck," she admitted.

"No fuckin way. Ain't nothing bout you easy!" he laughed then got serious as he noticed her forlorn face. "Look girlie, I gave you 'Logan' because I didn't want your heart to be broken anymore. I put you in this apartment because you deserve to be comfortable. I made you my Second in Command because you're capable as fuck, smart, honest to a fault and tougher than anyone else here. I haven't tried to wife you because I think better of you plus...it isnt about what I want, I want what you want," he said, that last bit came out softer.

Lilly was a bit surprised at his answer, very surprised actually. She was so so torn and put her head in her hands. Seeing her looking confused, he gently pulled her down to lay with him. Both of them were on their sides while he pulled his fingers thru her soft hair, she started to keep it down while inside her room/apartment...which Negan prefered. He scooted close to her, their noses smooshing together some.

"You have me really confused Negan, more confused than I've ever been," she admitted to him.

"Fun feeling ain't it?" he teased and pressed his lips against her forehead, keeping them there.

Lilly closed her eyes and relaxed as he slipped an arm over her body. "Not really, it kind-Negan! Damnit!" she couldn't help but laugh as his hand grabbed her ass and squeezed it.

He pulled back to rest his hand on her lower back, "Been wanting to do that for months now, it's such a nice a nice lil ass you have," he grinned, his hand slipping under her shirt to rub her back warmly.

She shook her head with a laugh, "How the hell could you even think about sex when you have almost double digit wives?" she asked him.

"When all you are fed is hamburger...sometimes you want steak," he grinned, his lips grazing over hers lightly.

"Im sure your wives would LOVE to hear that," she deadpanned.

"They don't need to know," he reminded her and kissed her lips softly.

From the living room they both heard Logan whimper. Lilly smiled big and kissed his forehead, "I gotta go. Gotta get my Logan accumulated to his new home. Thank you Negan," she mew'd, hopping up and headed to the living room.

Negan just smirked and headed out, tousling her hair as he headed out.


	11. Chapter 11: Celebration

_**Chapter 11 : Celebration**_

 ** _(For those interested in the song watch?v=n_ZmHOSr8Us)_**

A month later. Lilly had settled into being Negan's second in command, tho she spent most of the past month getting the respect of his officers/others who weren't to pleased with the new girl's sudden promotion. Eventually they warmed up to her, especially as she worked to have Negan treat them a bit better...not much but it was something. She still did her Shrink work but was pretty much at Negan's beck and call. Lilly worked with him on thing like 'supply runs' which she found out quickly were just raids of the other settlements they 'protected' but she got him to actually start protecting him reminding him that if they were taking half their goods, they wouldn't be able to protect themselves properly therefore unable to scavenge well-enough. It took a lot of fighting on that but he eventually realized her point of view made the most sense.

'Logan' was already proving to be smart and very trainable. Within a week she had him house-trained and taught him in emergencies he could use the potty pad she provided for him. Otherwise he was already staying, sitting, rolling over, and more importantly she taught him not to bite at any Walkers they came across. She would teach him more once he was out of his 'puppy' stage tho she would introduce some things...until then it was just lovin' on him as much as she could.

The current day had been rough and she was glad to have a break in the early evening (just as the sun was starting to set) to play fetch in the front area with Logan. She spotted Negan's convoy returning so she scooped Logan up in her arms and watched as they pulled in. Negan was quick to spot her and hopped out of his jeep, running over to her and picked her up by the hips happily.

Lilly held onto Logan tightly as Negan swung her around, "Ack! Negan! Christ! What's going on?" she asked as he put her down.

"Just a reeeeeaaaaaaaal good fuckin supply run," he said holding a bottle of champagne. "We even let the fuckers keep some of it," he laughed. He put his forehead to hers, "Why don't you go up into your room, Ill explain," he said lowly, winking to her as he walked away.

Biting the inside of her cheek she thought about it. He did seem real excited so calling for Logan to follow her she headed up to her apartment. Once she fed and 'watered' Logan, she put him in his kennel with his toys and headed to her bedroom. About an hour later Logan was asleep as was Lilly...well until she felt a pair of lips on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open and she saw Negan slipping into her bed to lay on his back next to her.

She sat up, "So what's all the excitement for?" she asked.

"Hilltop," he said sitting up and grabbed the bottle of champagne then opened it gently, "found a store with a bunch of untouched farming shit. You know what that means?" he asked pouring them into some fancy glasses and handed her one.

"Oh...well yeah, we'll become self-sufficient with food. That's a big deal. I know there are a bunch of ex-farmers here wanting to work but forced to do other menial shit, they'll be happy thats for sure," she mused and took a sip, her nose twitching a bit as the bubbles tickled it.

Negan downed his glass and poured him another, "Exactly, plus it means real trade with other real settlements in the area. Once the crops start pouring in, I might even lower the price for food here," he grinned, clinking his glass against hers.

She chuckled a bit at his glee and finished her glass, putting it on the side table next to her.

"You know what? I have yet to hear you play that guitar I got you...play me something. Sing too," he practically told her.

Snorting out a laugh, she got up and brought her guitar/amp over, plugging it in and turned it down so it wasn't blaring or near so. Lilly pursed her lips together and thought of something to play.

She started a slow but growing tempo song, the effect she put in gave the song a bit of a synth pop sound but it sounded almost like an acoustic song with flair. Radiohead'ish tho the song was 'Pride' by the duo Syntax.

Clearing her throat she started to sing, "It's made up of lonely moments, there was always a moment there when I knew. You always gave installments. Always knew you concentrated and grew. And I believe in reinvention, do you believe that life is holding the clue. Take away all the lonely moments, give me full communication with you..." she sung in her rich sweet but soulful voice.

Negan just watched with a smile, sipping on his drink, as she played and sung for him. As he heard the lyrics he sat up and paid more attention. The chorus hit, "Your smile, shine a lil light. Alright. Don't hide, shine a lil light. Give up on your pride.." and he felt something in the pit of his stomach.

Once she finished, she kinda shrugged and put her things away. Negan stood up, "Brav-fuckin-O," he told her, pulling her close, kissing her forehead almost sweetly. "That was...damn girlie," he mused, just holding her as he rested his chin on the top of her head.

"It's not even my song Negan, I just covered it," she told him.

"You have that song? On one of your CD's. Would you mind playing it? I quite liked it," he asked her.

Surprised, she nodded and went over to the little boom box and popped the CD in. She put the song on and put it on repeat just incase.

"You did it a lot of justice," he told her with a smile as he went over to turn off her lights and put the christmas lights on.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"This is how I jam, come here," he smirked teasingly as he sat back down on her bed.

Lilly hesitated but walked over and slid into her bed with him, letting him put his arm around her and pull her in close. She moved to lay on her side, her arm slipped over his stomach.

Maybe it was the booze but as the song kept going and just the position she was in, made her sort of emotional. Negan would feel a couple of tears on his chest.

"You alright girlie?" he asked gently, his fingers wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"Yeah, this song always makes me cry for some reason," she told him softly laughing a bit at her own dorkiness.

"Probably because you still have a heart and soul during all this shit," he said, kissing the top of her head again.

"You do too you know, you just...refuse it sometimes," she said gently.

Negan chuckled, "I've heard a lot said about me but that's not one of them."

She shrugged, "So? I believe it," she said.

"You do, don't you?" he asked her.

Lilly looked up to him and nodded. Negan lowered his head to her and kissed her lips softly, but it was Lilly who made the kiss more passionate...parting his lips so their tongues could dance a bit. Surprised but happy, his hand lifted to tuck her hair behind her ear so he could hold her face while they kissed. Needing a breath they both pulled back but only enough that their noses touched.

"God, I'm sorry, my throat is so dry," she blushed and moved to get up and move into her bathroom to swallow some handfuls of water. When she looked up from the sink, the mirror in front of her showed Negan behind her, his eyes looked almost...desperate for her. Just as she turned around, he picked her up by her waist and sat her on the sink.

Negan kissed her again, hard, passionately. Lilly responded by holding his face and wrapping her legs around his waist as he was standing between her legs. He pulled back from her lips and started to kiss down her neck and along her shoulder, Lilly tilted her head to give him more access to her skin, her own hands slipped under his shirt to rub along his chest. Kissing the top of her shoulder Negan then bit it gently with a growl. Her hands found his leather jacket and nearly tore it off, scarf as well, her hands making quick work of the shirt he wore underneath as well.

He pulled back a bit to get a good look at her face and eyes, Lilly was panting softly and her warm soft hands were rubbing along his chest. Leaning her head into his chest, she kissed along his collarbone causing him to roll his head back with a happy grunt...then she gave it a small bite of her own. He laughed and lifted his head back up and brought his fingers up to lift her chin some. Negan leaned in and kissed along her cheekbone until he got to her ear, "You sure about this girlie? This ain't the booze talkin'?" he asked softly, kissing along the curve of her ear.

Lilly nipped at his earlobe, pulling it gently before letting go. "I'm sure, Im damned sure. Please Negan. I don't want to feel alone anymore," she whimpered which sounded so damn sweet to his ears.

"You won't feel like that ever again, I promise," he whispered back.


	12. Chapter 12 - (rated M!) Official

**Chapter 12 : Give up On Your Pride**

( **So if you did not see it in the title, this chapter is rated M. M for (s)mut. This is all about the 2 hooking up. If you're not into reading this sort of thing you can skip this chapter knowing that they hooked up without missing anything important :) )**

Negan kissed her ear before reaching around and grabbing her butt, lifting her up so her legs wrapped around his waist...her arms around his neck lofty. Holding Lilly securely he carried her to her bed and laid her down so her legs hung off the edge of the bed with him standing between them. He grabbed her ankles and pulled her body towards his, their hips meeting a bit roughly. Reaching over he pulled off her tank top then with expert ease undid her bra and tossed it away. Negan stood back up and just looked over his softly panting green eyed lovely, he then bent over at the hips and held her face between his hands, kissing her forehead then her nose then her lips softly. "Fuck...you are beautiful," he muttered against her lips, his hands reaching down to undo her jeans and get them pulled down.

Lilly blushed badly "Negan..." "No," he said importantly, "I fucking mean it. You're the most beautiful woman here,"he told her as if it was a fact. Negan quickly stepped out of his jeans and boots then moved their bodies so she was laying up by her headboard. He kissed on her neck then moved down to her collarbone until he reached her breast. His lips opened and enclosed her pink nipple in his lips. When he started to suckle on it softly, Lilly gasped happily, her entire body reacting with a soft shiver...her nipple turning perky in the process...only to have him to repeat his actions, and hers, on the other. His hand came up to massage her breast one at a time as kissed on her lovely stomach, his tongue grazing over her belly button.

She could only lay back and enjoy the sensations he was giving her with her eyes closed. With his hands on her hips, she kissed below her bellybutton as moved lowered until he was on his knees...pulling her panties off her ankles. He stood back up and placed his palm on her pubic bone..letting it glide up over her stomach, between her breast and to her neck where he held it firmly but gently at the same time. Negan moved in close over top of her, his free hand finding her trimmed soft mound and letting his fingers slip between her crease. He got to watch as she moaned softly, his lips caressed over her cheekbone, "Damn girlie you're beautiful...and wet," he smiled mischievously. Her head turned towards his, panting softly as his fingers kept worshipping her folds-nudging her bud. "I can't...help it," she breathed. He shook his head and kissed his lips softly, "You don't have to," he told her. He pulled his hand away and moved his hand from her neck.

Negan loved watching her writhe on the bed as he removed his boxers. He climbed overtop of her, her arms immediately went around his neck and her legs around his waist. Smiling down to her, Negan kissed her lips sweetly and kept his face close to hers as he positioned himself so the fat tip of his erection was lined up with her entrance. He pressed his forehead against hers and with a roll of his hips he pushed his entire aching veiny shaft into her tight warm wet body. Lilly's back straightened and her head rolled back some. "OHhh fuck!" she moaned aloud before her body relaxed. He let himself throb inside her as he rubbed his nose against hers. "You okay?" he asked concernedly. She nodded and pecked at his lips, "Yes..more than okay, please...keep going. I'm yours tonight," she whimpered cutely. "More than just tonight, I promise that," he told her as he pulled his hips back-her body clenching around him tightly trying to keep him inside as best it could.

Negan set his pace with his hips, thrusting into her wanting body roughly but lovingly as he leaned down to kiss and suckle on her breast. Her hands gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his skin, a sensation he loved. As he kept his hips going, he lifted his head back up to her face, kissing all over her face, collecting the beads of sweat that were threatening to fall. Lilly groaned out, "Christ Negan!" she gasped, "keep going baby," she panted heavily lifting her head some to press her forehead against his. "I want you to finish inside of me," she growled softly against lips. Hearing that only fueled his fire and his hips moved faster, the sounds of their bodies slapping echoed throughout the room. Her entire body was being jerked upwards due to his motions, her breast bouncing, she grabbed a fistful of his hair on the back of his head in order to grab onto something in her passion. He growled at the feel and his hands gripped onto the headboard as his length filled her completely, repeatedly. His hot leaking tip found her sweet spot and Lilly almost sat up, "Shit! Right there!" she shouted as a sadly unfamiliar tug within her loins pulled her close to climax.

Both of them started to pant very heavily, sweat rolling off their bodies, the wet smacks of their bodies slapping together filling the room as her room got warm. "Ohh shit Lilly...I ain't gonna last much longer," he warned her, licking his bottom lip as he looked down to her finding her so damn sexy right now. "I'm not either love," she whimpered. Negan wrapped his arms around her body tightly and warmly, keeping himself balanced on his elbows as his hips kept driving into hers. Lilly's eyes opened wide , her face looking pained but in the best way, "Oh my god Oh my god Oh my god, Negan! Im cumming babe! I'm...Ahhhh fuck!" she yelled, her back arching wildly. Her body reacted as well, her already tight center clenching around his manhood like a fist...which brought Negan right to the edge. "Ahhh Shit! Lilly-Baby!" he cried out as the sensation of her hot juices gushing out and coating his length caused his own orgasm to burst forth...explosively. Rope after rope of his seed shot deep within her, their bodies shook as the voices rung-out in the room. Lilly collapsed back onto the bed once her body could take no more and Negan collapsed lightly on top of her (his forearms keeping him up some), one hand coming up to push her sweaty red hair from her face. Her own hand coming up to hold his cheek.


	13. Chapter 13 : The Afterglow

_**(I hope everyone is enjoying this. Thank you all for all the favoriting it has gotten. I hope to see more reviews to be honest, I like to know what everyone thinks. Thanks guys 3 )**_ _ **  
**_ _ **  
Chapter 13 : The Afterglow**_

"You. Are. Fucking. AHmazing," he said between breaths, moving slowly (keeping their bodies connected) so their bodies face each other as they laid on their sides. Her legs were intertwined with his and their arms wrapped around each other's tightly.

"You're no slouch yourself," she teased, kissing his lips sweetly.

"There's my girle," he chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"Yeah yeah, I just needed a good deep-dickin' to set my head straight huh?" she smirked.

Laughing, he rolled onto his back, taking her with him and she ended up ontop of him...resting on his sweaty body very happily. "Among other things," he grinned and nuzzled the top of her head. "So...you do know...you're mine now, I've claimed your ass.." he smirked and grabbed her bare ass with his hands tightly, "this ass right here. If another man even gets bats his eyes at you..."

"Says the man with multiple wives," she smirked.

"That's completely fucking different," he told her, rubbing her back warmly. "I rather not have to kill a man cause he looked at my gal wrong."

"What about if a woman hits on me?" she asked lifting her head up so she could look to him.

He grinned showing all his teeth, "then you flirt your ass off and eventually ask if she would like the 3-some to end ALL 3-somes!" he told her happily.

Lilly shook her head and put her forehead in her palm. "You giant hypocrite."

He moved his hand and leaned his head forward so they were face to face. "No one...no man, woman, walker...whatever, touches you. You feel me?" he asked seriously.

If this world hadn't been shit right now, Lilly would find that level of protection as a sign to get the fuck away. But seeing that it was him and now...she found it oddly endearing. She nodded and kissed his lips sweetly.

"I don't want anyone else but you," she said softly.

"Good girle, and don't worry...you're the only one for me, you and my wives," he said gently.

Lilly sighed and frowned, "Don't mention them...please, not when we're together," she told him softly, her gaze dropping from his.

"Aw, I'm sorry there girlie," he said tucking her hair behind her ear. He motioned for her to move and sat up, swinging his legs over the bed before standing up with a stretch.

"Leaving already?" Lilly asked knowingly.

"Oh no fuckin way!" he said leaning back as he stood there. "You're coming with me, the smell of sex attracts all sorts of things I don't want to" he said, grabbing her and putting her legs around his waist, arms wrapped around her upper body as he carried her to the shower.

Of course once the water was turned on they went at it again with him holding her up. Once their bodies were spent, they actually washed up and got out. With a towel wrapped around his waist, Negan took a moment to comb his hair back in his usual fashion as Lilly watched for the doorway.

"You're cute you know that?" she asked, wrapping her large towel around her entire body.

"Of course I fuckin know that," he laughed. He checked out the scruff on his face. "I think I should shave," he mused.

"Oh no, do that and I will not talk to you until it starts growing back," she told him crossing her arms over her chest.

He smirked, "You like me lookin old?"

"No, I like you looking as hot as you possibly can be," she mused.

Negan swaggered over to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in close to him. He rubbed his fuzzy face against hers, making her purr some.

"Well then, no shave it is," he said as his hands slipped to grab her ass and squeeze it before letting go and walking past her to get dressed.

Chuckling she got dressed faster than him then headed out into the living room to let Logan out. "Hey my baby," she mew'd, picking him up and cradling him in her arms as he licked all over her face.

Negan came out fully dressed and smirked at the two. "So damn cute!" he announced heading over to them to give the pup a scratch behind the ears.

Lilly smiled some and kissed Negan's lips softly, "Okay, get out of here, you got work to do as do I," she said smacking his ass as he headed towards the door.

"Fuck and run huh?" he asked leaning back towards her. "I love it!" he laughed as he swung Lucille over his shoulder and headed out...whistling happily.

Shaking her head with a smile she put Logan down and shut her door. "Okay bud, go get your 'toy'," she told him.

The bright little pup went over to his toy box and grabbed his tug of war toy they named his 'toy' and brought it over to her, dropping it at her feet.

"Smart boy! Good boy," she told him, rubbing the sides of his face warmly.


	14. Chapter 14 : No, not again

_**Chapter 14 : Not Again**_

A week later.

This was not a good morning for Lilly. Negan had woke her up an hour before she usually did so due to something important concerning the 'supply run' which meant she had to eat in a hurry, do Logans routine in a hurry, then rush to Negan. All the while she was really not feeling good and was sweating up a storm.

They were inspecting the inventory, Lilly with a clipboard (keeping record was fairly new for them, it was something Lilly implemented and Negan praised her for) as she took notes while he counted and read things off.

Negan noted Lilly got quiet after awhile. "I said 20 cantaloupes from The Kingdom, you gettin this?" he asked a bit crossly.

She winced some, "Yeah yeah, I got it."

He noticed her pained face, sweat and reddened face. "You alright girlie?" he asked more softly, walking over towards her.

"Yeah, Im sure its just cramps or something," she grumbled, looking up to him with dazed eyes.

He frowned deeply and put a hand to her forehead, she was burning hot. "To the infirmary, now," he told her as an order.

"I'm fine Negan, I...uh...just need to set up the mic's and the amps and we can...do a soundcheck," she said softly.

Before he could ask what the fuck she was talking about, the clipboard fell from her hands and she started to fall. "Shit!" Negan grunted and caught her. Carrying her bridal style he rushed her to the infirmary, putting her on one of the beds.

Carson put a fever reading stick on her forehead and the marker went up and up. "105.4...oh lord that's NOT good," he said.

Having heard the commotion and seeing his boss pass by, Simon had rushed in with him. Carson looked back to Simon, "You, get a couple of men and get all the ice you can. ALL of it, everyone's freezer needs to be stripped of all the ice," he told him importantly. Simon nodded, grabbed a bunch of people and they went off to get the ice. Carson looked to Negan, "Put her in that empty tub there, we need to lower her body temperature," he instructed. They had a tub in case of infection/gangrene/etc. Grabbing all the ice packs he could, Carson placed them on her forehead and around her face the best he could, Lilly didn't shiver once.

"What the fuck is going on?" Negan growled.

"I know as much as you do. Did she complain of any pain earlier...anywhere? Was she holding a spot on her body and wincing?" Carson asked importantly.

Negan thought back to their time together this morning. "I...I think I saw her wince and hold...her gut, I think," he told the doc.

"Okay, I need you to undress her, Ill put a blanket over her to keep her modesty somewhat but I'm going to need to cath her," he told Negan. "You may want to step out."

"No, I've been thru this before," he said lowly and got Lilly undressed so Carson could wrap a blanket around her then cathed her so he could keep track of her urine output.

Simon returned with his men and buckets of ice, enough to fill the tub with her laying it then they left to make sure more was ready when that was melted.

"Fucking christ, that much ice and she isn't even shivering," he frowned, holding her cold hand.

Carson walked over and started to press around her stomach and side. "Look to her face, tell me if you see any movement on her face," he said to Negan.

Negan nodded and watched her face closely. It was still for a long time until her eyes suddenly winced tightly. "There!" he shouted.

Carson frowned, "it's her appendix." He got up and waved Negan over with him as he stood away from Lilly. "This..isn't good at all. If her temperature is that high it means her appendix has burst and she's suffering from sepsis," he said.

"So...we can just wait it out then right?" Negan asked.

"No, that's ALL we can do. Sepsis poisons your insides. We need to pump her full of antibiotics and hope her organs are alright. The big problem is this will take nearly all of the most strongest antibiotics we have...and she may not survive," he told him honestly.

Negan blinked as this conversation resembled the ones Lucille's doctors had with him all those years ago. He felt his heart break all over again but did not show it on his face. "You give her what she needs," he told the doctor simply.

Carson nodded, "I need you to sit her up some and dry off her chest, I need to put a pic-line in," he said.

Negan knew exactly what he was talking about so he walked over and sat Lilly's unconscious body up in a way that she'd stay up and took a nearby cloth to dry off her chest and arms.

The doctor worked quickly and pushed the first round of antibiotics into the line. Since her arms were now dry he hooked her up to a heart monitor and blood pressure reader. He looked to the information and shook his head. "We play the waiting game now. If her fever goes up by 6 degrees she'll start suffering brain damage then brain death. What we need is for her temp to go down, go back up some since that will be the antibiotics fighting the infection, then back down," he explained.

Negan just nodded and Carson headed off after taking some blood to get information from it with what primitive tools he had.

Simon stopped in, "Anything I can do?" he asked gently.

"Yeah, get Logan out of his cage...take him to my wives...tell them whats going on and ask them to watch over the pup, they'll know what to do," he said softly.

Simon headed off.

Negan took ahold of Lilly's cold hand and rubbed his thumb over her hand. "Why didn't you tell me you were feelin bad girlie. You gotta stop holding shit in," he talked to her tho there was no response or movement from her. All of this reminded him of Lucilles last days and he was determined not to go thru that again...tho he knew he had no say in this. He reached over to move some of the wet hair from her face and hold her cheek in his palm. Lilly opened her mouth a bit and let out a breath, her face turning into his hand and nuzzling it some.

Negan smiled some and moved his face in close to hers, "Hi girlie," he whispered.

"Hey," she smiled weakly. Her eyes opened more and she looked down to herself...frowning. "What's going on? Why am I in a tub of ice...I don't feel cold.." she noticed worriedly.

"Your appendix bursted, you have sepsis," he told her point blank.

Sniffling, Lilly started to cry softly, "I'm going to die," she whimpered.

"No, no you're not" he said firmly, squeezing her hand.

"Be real Negan, people died of sepsis when we had all the technology in the world...now we hardly have half of it and you think I'm going to make it?" she asked incredulously. She sighed softly and kissed his lips, rubbing her cold nose against his. "You may have to accept the inevitable and move on quicker than you want to Negan. You have a community to run, wives to take care of...you cannot sit here worrying about me until I go one way or the other," she told him firmly. "I'm sure if something happens you'll be told but...please Negan...go about your life, everyone here counts on you," she said softly.

He frowned, almost hurt as she tried to send him away."No, I'm not leaving you, not until I know the results," he said.

She shook her head and turned it away from him. crying softly. "I can't have your full attention, not really Negan. Rather you're here or not it's like you're not here," she said softly. Lilly suddenly let out a pained whimper and Carson rushed in, "she's experiencing a pain...a lot of pain, its causing her blood pressure to go up," he explained to Negan and got a syringe of narcotics loaded the pushed it into her line. Lilly's eyes fluttered and she passed out for the time being.

Negan watched her as her pain was eased, he nodded to Carson and stepped out of the infirmary. He headed right to her apartment and plopped down on the couch, a couch they spent a ton of nights cuddling on, fighting on, having sex on...just a good amount of memories in her short time here. Yet, his mind kept thinking about Lucille...their situations were so similar...but he loved Lucille enough to have tried to atone for his the sins he committed against her.. He started to wonder if he felt the same way for Lilly. He suddenly chuckled ruefully, hell, even both their names started with an "L". Once Lilly was healthy, she'd have a field day with that bit of information.

Rolling his neck some, Negan decided to stay in her place for the evening. He had some thinking to do.


	15. Chapter 15: Happiness can be Fleeting

**Chapter 15 : Watching and Waiting**

3 days later.

Negan never left her side unless Simon made him eat or shower or get some rest...of course Negan fought with him but Simon remained strong.

It was around 2am, both Dr Carson and Negan were giving Lilly round the clock care as everyone took turns making sure her ice stayed fresh and cold. Negan sat in his usual chair holding her hand. His head kept dropping as he tried to stayed awake. Just when it seemed that he drifted off, he felt Lilly's hand start to tremble. He looked up with weary eyes and saw her whole body trembling, her teeth chattering.

"Carson! Get your fucking ass in here!" he yelled.

Carson rushed in.

"She's..she's cold! What does that mean?" Negan asked.

Carson quickly grabbed a fever sticker and put it on her head after wiping her face down. A smile of relief came over his face, "101.3, her fever is down, way down, back to a normal low-grade fever. The antibiotics worked!" he said, his voice hoarse from being up the past 3 days. "Let's get her on a bed," he said.

Both men lifted her off and put her on a bed, drying her off, taking off the wet blanket and wrapped a thick dry one around her body.

Lilly grumbled and opened her eyes, she already looked better. "What's going on?" she asked them.

Negan came right over and stroked her hair warmly, "Girlie, you're fever is a normal fever now. The antibiotics worked," he said and kissed her forehead warmly.

Dr Carson checked her vitals and her urine, "Everything is back to normal besides the low grade fever which I'm damned sure will go away, lets make you more comfortable," he said. He quickly and easily removed the cath while Negan dried her off and put her in a comfortable pair of sweats and a tank top.

"Wheres Logan?" she asked worriedly.

"Don't worry, everyone here has took turns taking care of him, they all have loved it so far," he chuckled.

She sighed relievedly then yelped as Negan hugged her tightly once Carson stepped out...to which she hugged him back...squeezing him tightly. When he pulled away she caught his face between her hands and kissed him deeply. "I'm sorry I told you to go away...I didn't mean it, I'm glad you stayed with me," she whispered against his lips.

He kissed her again then sat back down, running his fingers thru her hair. "It's okay, I know you were just worried about everything but your fuckin self," he smirked.

Carson stepped back in, "You know, as long as she takes it easy, there's no reason why she can't recuperate in the comfort of her own apartment...but she HAS to take it easy for at least another week," he said sternly.

"Well you fuckin hear that? Lets do this!" he grinned and picked her up bridal style before she could say anything.

"Put me down you ass!" she chuckled as he carried her upstairs.

To shut her up he kissed her lovingly until they were in her bedroom and he laid her down onto her bed.

"I wanna see my boy," she mew' laying back in her bed comfortably.

"No, you need to rest and relax. I'll bring him in tomorrow so you all can visit, until then, you lay there and fuckin relax," he told her. "You need anything?" he asked.

"I could use something to drink, Im stomach is upset," she mused.

He headed out into her kitchen and got her a warm can of coke then brought it back, even opened it for her. "Take little sips," he warned her then crawled into bed with her.

"Yes Dad," she teased with a smirk, sipping quite a bit before setting it down on her nightstand.

Lilly turned to her side facing Negan and cuddled up close to him, sighing out happily.

Negan just looked to her peaceful face, he leaned in to kiss her eyelids closed so she'd relax even more then stroked her hair. He thought about what he almost lost and sighed himself.

"What's wrong Negan?" she asked with her eyes still closed.

"I almost lost you...like I lost Lucille and..I couldn't stand it," he said and reached into a pocket in his leather jacket.

The slight noise made her open her eyes and she looked to him curiously.

He pulled out a simple gold band and took her hand. "This was Lucille's. I haven't put it on any of my 'wife's' fingers...you're the only other woman I would want wearing this," he said softly and slipped it onto her finger..amazingly it fit.

Lilly was at a lost for words, she looked to the lovely band on her finger then back to him, then to the band, then back to his face...her eyes getting watery.

"I want you to be my wife Lilly. My top wife if that makes any sense. You'll be my most revered wife, the one I go to automatically. I want you to keep the others in line...teach them how to act so I can show off properly," he said gently and as sweetly as he could, thinking this would make her happy.

But boy was he wrong.

Just when she thought she had changed him...just a tiny bit, he goes and does something like this. She knew he meant-well but...this is not how she wanted to be treated. As the head concubine.

Her tears turned angry and her face went sour. "You fucking piece of shit. This is the big change you wanted to make?!" she yelled at him and sat up, holding her stomach sorely. "You want me to be your bottom bitch?!"

Negan frowned and stood up, grabbing Lucille quietly just incase. "I thought..."

"You thought wrong you stupid fucking asshole," she growled. "Put it thru your thick fucking skull, I don't want to be your wife, I don't want to be your 'head' wife...I'm better off being your 'girlfriend' because like YOU said, it shows you have just the tiniest bit more respect for me but I guess you didn't mean that. I was right...you were just buttering me up so I could be your easy lay!" she shouted, melting into sad pathetic tears. "Go away...just get away from me. Go to one of your wives since you love them so fucking much...and while you're fucking them, I want you to look to their faces and see the contempt in their eyes...then remember how I look when we're together," she spat. Getting up, she took the ring off and put it in his hand before moving into her bathroom and closing/locking the door.

Hurt, very hurt (tho not hurting like Lilly was and he knew that), Negan left her apartment and went into his private one just above hers. He plopped down onto his couch and looked to the ring in his hand. His head rolled back onto the back of the couch and he let out a long and confused sigh. Just when he thought he did something good...right...it all went to shit. Negan made himself a splash of whiskey, drank it quickly and thought about things.


	16. Chapter 16 : Separation?

Chapter 16 : Separation?

2 months later. Negan kept to his word and took care of Lilly as she recouped but Lilly said nearly nothing to him as he tried to make conversation. Usually he'd be severely pissed off but he could sense her hurt so he didn't press it. Once she was healthy and had Logan back, she went right back to work. Even as his Second-In-Command, she did her work professionally and actually worked harder than ever. She helped him and Simon with clearing out herds in the area using battle tactics and even squashed a settlement uprising...tho she convinced Negan (in as few words possible) to show mercy and perhaps make a few changes to how he treated them (It was Alexandria who was getting the worse of his wrath yet no protection due to Rick and his group being there) but she did make sure his anger was satisfied by getting initiating some sort of punishment, which meant a few heads had to be bashed in. All this time, she spoke to him as little as she had to. She locked her door when she was in her apartment to show him he was not invited as freely as he had been.

Negan hurt and when Negan was hurt, he usually made that person pay but..he could never EVER do that to her. Thoughts of taking away her luxuries came to mind, but hell, she was earning that apartment and her life style. He just had to put up with the cold shoulders, lack of intimacy, and the somewhat silent treatment until she was ready to talk.

Early in the morning, Lilly had awoken feeling pretty damn good, she really felt 100% finally. She had a fulfilling breakfast along with Logan who was ever growing and already a large handful for a 6 month old German Shepard pup...then again she knew they grew to be a large breed dog, her personal favorite. Sadly tho, as she stood out with Logan, letting him run around happily (she gave him an hour in the morning, 2 hours around lunch, then he followed her around after work), she kept remembering the wonderful day Negan gave him to her. The actual care and concern for her broken heart after she had lost Max hurt her now, once again, aching heart. A lot of nights were spent crying as she realized that once again she was void of human contact and love, well besides Logan who loved his Mama dearly...he kept her going a lot of the time.

But she missed Negan's strong hands massaging her scalp and playing with her hair. She wanted to pull him into her apartment, jump into his arms and have him carry her into her bedroom for some night-long makeup sex but the pain of the realization that she would never be enough for him was just too much. Lilly was mostly mad at herself for getting involved with a man whom she knew would not and could not change for -anyone- no matter how much he cared for them, he could never care for anyone more than he did for himself and his own selfish wants and needs. Lilly did think he tried but he just couldn't do it.

After Logan was tired out a bit, feed and she had put his toys and water bowl in his kennel, she gave him lots of love/pet/and kisses which he happily returned with his little tongue and nose then locked him up until lunch. "See ya later Logan," she mew'ed getting one last pat in. Before she left she stopped by the mirror near her door and re-bunned her hair. Having been eating healthy and getting exercise had been great for her body even with her recent illness. Her curves fleshed out some, the pink returned to her face and her eyes were lit up again...those greens sparkled. It even showed in her wardrobe. She always seemed to be wearing heels tho that was to make HER feel good (tho of course she kept her running shoes in the messenger bag she always had on her person). Today she was wearing a beautiful red long sleeved microfiber off the shoulders shirt, showing off her once again healthy skin...as Negan put it once or twice, her "kissable-ass-skin". The yoga-esque black pants she wore hugged her gorgeous figure..showing her body off some. Lilly was not looking to flirt or impress, she wanted to look good to make herself feel good.

Lilly headed down to the main area to head to her office, she had a good amount of people to 'talk' to before joining Negan on a ride to an area where they think is fertile and could plant more food. The area that farmers had been working on was doing so well and Lilly had the good idea to search high and low for things/a type of poison to fight bugs and other types of crop killing things to avoid losing everything. After about 3 hours and 6 sessions she headed out to the front and waited by the jeep she knew was his favorite. Negan soon came out and she had to admit to herself that for some reason today...she found him absolutely striking and ever so handsome...her heart actually skipped a few beats. He nodded to her and put a case of supplies in the back. They both got in and soon he was turning over the jeep and they were off quickly out of the gate. They drove for about 20 minutes before reaching their destination. His men had placed stakes around the perimeter of the land they wanted to farm. There was even a little cabin next to the land where a farmer might have lived for that's where they found all the farming equipment beforehand.

Negan got out as did Lily. He went to the back of the jeep and unstrapped the case. As he did so he looked Lilly up and down, he licked his bottom lip...damn she looked good today. Tho it sort of hurt because when women started dressing like that after a breakup, it usually meant that they were over the person they had broken up with. Clearing his throat he spoke to her, "Come on, lets go into the cabin and look over everything, I've already cleared it out," he told her in his stern voice. Lilly nodded tho she kinda missed their playful snarky, most of the time sexy, banter. Negan opened the door for her and let her in first, once she walked in he followed and turn on a light. Tho the light was actually a bunch of white christmas lights that illuminated the room beautifully. He started to pull down the shades so the room was darkened besides the christmas lights.

Lilly crossed her arms over her chest and sighed, dropping her head for a moment. "Negan I-". He raised up his hand, "We're staying here for awhile," he told her before she could object, "a couple of days at least. Simon is taking care of Max and he's excited to do so," he said as he placed the case he was carrying on the table then walked over to two chests that were in the corner. "I got clothes for both you and I," he said and opened a mini-fridge that actually worked and was running, "plenty of food, plus the stove works so we can cook real meals. There are two bed upstairs in the loft as well as a shower, sink and toilet in the bathroom," he explained. Lilly frowned deeply, "I really don't appreciate this. I have work to do as do you plus I do NOT like being away from Logan suddenly," she growled. "Stop growing at me girle," he said softly and walked over to her so they were a bit closer than arms reach in other. Her reached out and took ahold of her arms softly, giving her a pleading look. "Lilly..." he started. "Lilabet. I told you that's MY name," she said sternly. He sighed a bit, "Lilabet, I want to make this work. Please just try." "There is NO trying with you Negan because for you I'll never be more than your little fuck toy that you come to when your wives ice you out," she told him, poking at his chest. He grabbed her hand softly and kissed the top of it, "That's not true and you know it. The thing is, you're struck here and I don't know if you heard it, but Simon has already drove here with Dwight to take the jeep back," he said a bit sheepishly.

Really pissed off she had to take a moment to breathe, "Well then. You really planned this sweetheart of a kidnapping to the T. Have fun talking to yourself for the next week," she said and climbed up the loft ladder to go and lay down. When she got up top she stomped her foot, "two beds my ass!" She turned around to find Negan there, "No, they're two beds...I thought they were twins pushed together but they're twins welded together," he explained softly. Lilly rolled her eyes, "Yeah, Im sure you are surprised at that. You can sleep on the couch down stairs. Goodbye," she said and moved into the bed, laying facing away from him. Sighing, Negan stepped back down the ladder and put what he had in the case away...hoping for the nice little lunch but he guessed that was out of the question.

Lilly laid on the bed just staring at the wall thinking over everything. One thing that got to her? Was how docile he was being. There was no cursing or laughing, just him nodding and saying yes or no. It was so odd...and almost caring of him to not and try to weasel out of what he's done..but she was NOT going to forgive him for this. This was going to be the most quiet and most painful week of his like and she was going to make damned sure of it.

After about 20 mins she fell asleep pretty damn hard, her swell of emotions making her tired as fuck once they passed. She didn't even feel Negan climb in next to her once he decided to well, just want to spend some kinda time with her even if she wasn't awake. He kept his distance but laid facing her. Negan looked at her there was an almost longing in his eyes. It felt like years since they would just lay together, her head in his lap as he massaged her scalp and played with her hair. Moments like her threatening to cry if he shaved his beard...then distracting him by doing a playful strip-tease. Their intimate moments like her waking him up via sex and him doing the same to her. His heart actually hurt but he just couldn't figure out why she got so mad in the first place. Negan reached out and put a hand on her shoulder gently, not even resting his hands full weight onto her shoulder. This woke her up but she didn't let him know it because that bit of familiar human contact felt so damn nice. Her emotions swelled within her and a few tears quietly slipped down her face...but she couldn't hide her sniffles.

"Lily...girlie...what's wrong?" he asked, gently pulling her to face him..surprising him when she willingly turned to her other side so she could face him. "I miss you Negan, I don't like being alone and hurts that you're constantly so close to me," she admitted with a whimper, covering her face with her hands out of embarrassment. Hating to see her hurt, he pulled her hands away as he scooted closer to her. "Girlie, its okay, its really quite okay. I miss you too...alot. My heart breaks everytime I see you," he admitted to her. Lilly looked to him, her eyes searching his handsome brown eyes...then suddenly leaned in close and kissed him deeply...surprising the fuck outta him. When she pulled away she brought his bottom lip with her and let it snap back against his mouth. He just kept looking to her in surprise. With her lips trembling against his she spoke the words he'd been wanting to hear for months now. "I miss you, I need you Negan...right now right here please."


	17. Chapter 17 : Afterglow Darkness

_**Chapter 17 : Afterglow Darkness**_

Before too long what Lilly would call 'passionate fucking', happened. The two spent hours bringing each other to the brink of completion only to hold back then eventually let the other finish along with themselves. Tandem orgasms, moaning, panting, sweat, a bit of spanking, a lot of breathy 'oh fuck's' filled the little loft. Lilly rolled off of him and both just laid on their backs, breathing heavily as the ceiling fan cooled their bodies. After a few minutes, she got up and took a shower...tho it was small so Negan couldn't join her but her shower was quickly and soon she was getting redressed.

"I'm gonna get something to eat," she mused and headed downstairs.

"Ah, I put a hunger in ya," he smirked.

She just laughed and climbed down the ladder.

Getting a good stretch in, Negan wiped himself down in the bathroom. He looked himself in the mirror, happy that the two made up finally. He joined her downstairs finding her at the stove and cooking up a quick batch of chicken noodle soup and a fresh loaf of bread warming up in the small oven. Negan came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist, pushing himself up close to her. His lips found her shoulders and neck and started to kiss on it.

"Mmm," she mewed, "I know this was supposed to be a nice lil vacation but I really need to get back tomorrow, I have work to do," she told him.

"That's not a problem, I have a radio to contact Simon so he can pick us up," he whispered into her ear.

"Good, I just wanna get back to Keith, we had made some plans," she said gently and pulled away from him so she could get something from the fridge.

Negan looked confused, "You mean Logan, the puppy?" he asked.

"Oh no, Keith...one of the scavengers? We've been...kinda together these past months," she explained.

He just looked at her as she chopped up some vegetables like what she said meant nothing. Not only did he feel his heart break even more but he felt anger rise in the pit of his stomach.

"You fuckin slut? You went and fucked me then you're going back to him?" he spat.

"I'm sorry.." she said turning around to face him with her hands on her hips, "You wanna call me a slut after what you described I did to be the exact damn thing you do to me every fucking day?!"she said getting loud.

"That's completely different" he growled.

"Different? How the FUCK is it different? You come over, fuck me, cuddle with me then head off telling me how you have a date with your wives? Hell, I least I don't have 8 boyfriends while you and I are fucking," she told him.

"You're a real piece fuckin of work you know that?" he smirked.

"Why? Because I'm not continuing to fuck you as a thank you for giving me a life that I deserve since I'm just about running that place? Fuck you Negan..." she frowned, holding back tears, "Fuck you. Now you know how it feels to be used, to have something you want dangle right in front of your face but never able to catch it" she said, something catching in her throat. Turning off the soup she headed upstairs and laid in the bed with her head in her arms.

Ohhh, that was bad, real bad, Negan thought to himself. His mind raced when he realized...there was no Keith at Sanctuary. She made him up! Lilly had kept to herself the entire time while he just worked out his frustration on his enemies and wives. Meanwhile...she had no one to turn to as she never wanted to bother anyone. "Poor Lilly..." he grumbled to himself softly, holding his forehead in his palm, realizing just how alone she had been all this time.

Negan went up the ladder and sat on the edge of the bed by her feet, his hand gently rubbing her ankles. "Is there any hope to put us back where we used to be?" he asked softly.

Lilly shook her head sadly, "I'm sorry...I can't. Trust me, I would be easier if I could...a lot easier," she sighed sadly.

"I could just not talk about them..."

"No Negan..no you don't understand," she said wiping her face as she sat up to look at him. "What hurts the most is that I'll never be enough for you. You can tell me it's about power all you want...but as long as you're fucking them and holding them and taking care of them...I can't see where I fit in other than being just another fuck toy," she explained to him in a sad tone. "You know how you felt when I told you about the not real Keith? Imagine feeling that every day...every hour on the hour," she told him.

Negan thought back to that feeling...and immediately put it out of his mind as it hurt too much. He moved to lay behind her, pulling her down with him and keeping a firm arm around her, pulling her close to his body. Lilly didn't fight it, she had missed this. He kissed the top of her head and kept his lips there even as she drifted off.

The two actually stayed there the entire week he had planned. There was no more fighting, no more sex and they were able to be civil to each other...even try to be friends. But when they got back to Sanctuary the two headed to opposite areas...looking back to each other sadly before going their separate ways.


	18. Chapter 18 : I Owe You

_**Chapter 18 : I Owe You**_

A week later; Lilly was in a 'session' with a young woman named Tina. She was actually the younger sister of Sherry..one of Negans wives. It had been a real depressing session so far. Tina was a type 1 diabetic and could not afford the price for the insulin she needed and she was too weak to work any harder to get it.

Lilly sighed a bit then came over to kneel besides Tina as she sat in the chaise lounge the scavenge team managed to find for her. She took her hand in her own warmly.

"Look...I have Negan's ear at times, let me talk to him, maybe I can get something worked out," she said gently.

Tina shook her head, "Lilly...I don't want him mad at you because you're trying to help me."

"Even tho we're kinda...only being civil to each other right now, we have too much history for him to just ignore me. He won't. I'll just mention it to him...don't worry, okay?" she told her.

Tina nodded then stood up to hugged her friend tightly.

Later on that evening. Lilly headed up to Negan's private apartment, an officer was outside. "I really need to talk to him," she told the officer.

The officer checked a list of people who are allowed in his home, Lilly's name was still first on the list. He smiled to her and opened the door, closing it once she stepped inside.

Negan was at his bar having a small drink when he saw Lilly stepped inside. A surprised grin came over his face, "girlie! I'm surprised to see you here!" he said walking over to her and hugging her warmly.

Lilly hugged him back, hiding the big smile that tried to take over her face. She pulled back and move over to his couch, motioning for him to sit next to her. "I'll be honest Negan, this isn't really a social call. You know I'm not good at buttering up someone and then asking them for a favor...but I really need a favor from you," she told him earnestly.

He chuckled a bit and sipped his drink. He did appreciate that she was straight forward with why she came to him. "It's alright Girlie, I appreciate the honesty, what do you need?" he asked setting his glass down.

"You know Tina right? Sherry's little sister? Well..she's type 1 diabetic which is...well, its really serious Negan. She's too weak at the moment to work more in order to afford it. Do you think you can help her out somehow?" she asked softly.

"I...I don't know girlie, that stuff is hard to come by," he mused.

"Negan, I'm really swallowing my pride here. Tina and I are friends and...I don't want to tell you how she'll suffer if she doesn't get that medication...but it won't be good...at all," she tried to make him understand.

Negan just smiled and reached out to stroke her hair, "My big hearted girlie..." he said warmly.

"I know I know...is there some kinda...point share lay-a-way system?" she asked.

They both laughed out of the blue.

"God, that was stupid, I'm sorry," she chuckled.

"Not at all, just your darlin' lil brain trying to think of something. Let me talk to her so I can try to find something she can do and we'll work something out," he told her, holding her hand warmly.

Lilly smiled and kissed his cheek, "Thank you...and thank you for not being so upset with me that you'd ignore Tina's plead," she said softly.

"I could never be mad at you...at least for too long. I'm just hoping one day we can be like we were," he admitted to her.

"I think we can...I do now...and its something I want too. It..it will just take a little bit of time," she said.

Negan leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'm glad to hear that."


	19. Chapter 19 : Are You Fuking Kidding Me?

_**Chapter 19 : Are you fuckin kidding me?!**_

Later that day, around dinner time. Lilly's apartment.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Lilly yelled at Negan who was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Girlie, if I ever handled a situation that did not end up with you screaming at me..." he leaned back, "I would SHIT my pants!"

"I ask you to help her while we are currently at odds because of your whole multiple wives things...and you go and offer her a position as your wife? Are you even thinking?! Oh jesus christ, I think my goddamn eye is twitching," she said covering her eyes with her hand. "I seriously would LOVE to know the drugs you are on because they sound like a freakin hoot," she snarked.

Negan chuckled, he did love her choice of words. "Ah come on, its a pretty brilliant idea. She gets what her need plus anything else she wants and full protection by me," he grinned, swinging his bat. "Negan, Tina is like...19! Child bride much?!" she asked. "Hey..don't start with that shit, she's perfectly legal all over the fuckin world."

"That's it. Im done. Im done with you. We will never get back to where we were...EVER. From now on we work together, that's it," she growled and turned to head to her room with Logan at her side. Negan frowned and reached out to grab her elbow, turning her to face him. "Be careful what you say girlie, cause I'll turn off the tap real fuckin quick and you'll be all alone again," he told her.

"Get the fuck outta my apartment..." she said thru clenched teeth. Negan sighed a bit, let her arm go then turned to leave. Lilly panicked, she swore she would of gotten the upper-hand by now but to no prevail.

"Negan. I'll marry you, I'll take Tina's place!" she called out to him.

THAT...made him stop. He turned on his heels and walked back to her with an intrigued look on his face. He looked to her expression. "You're not kidding are you? You'd really marry me so I'd drop my offer to Tina?"

"Yes...on a few conditions. Your wives get free reign of anything they need, right?" she asked. Negan nodded with a smile. "Then let Tina have my reign so she can get her medicine regularly". Negan thought about for second and nodded, "Sounds fair. What are the other conditions?" he asked.

"Well since my free-reign is gone...I still get to work, all my work..and I'm not wearing at linerage until I am off of work...but after then I'll wear what ever you want me to. Also, I get to keep my apartment...you can have free access to it, you don't even have to knock...but I want my own space," she told him sternly even tho the ball was in his court.

Negan looked to her, what she was asking for made a lot of sense. He knew she liked her privacy and she did have a bit of a professional dress code for herself. Grinning from ear to ear, he put Lucille down and rushed over to her, picking her up (putting her legs around his waist) and spun her around. "Oh girlie you made me the happiest fucker on this stupid lil planet!" he laughed and put her down. "We'll do this thing the evening after tomorrow," he told her, "It will be in my home and it will be small but I always take my darlin wife to meet our people once its over," he chuckled. "The girls will help you get ready and Ill make sure we have the proper attire," he smirked and kissed her forehead again. "You relax, you're gonna be a bride," he said rubbing his thumb over her cheekbone as she just looked up to him. Negan grabbed his bat and walked out whistling a happy tune.

Letting out a breath, Lilly walked into her living room and sat on the floor in front of her couch. Logan rushed over to her and sat between her legs. The smart lil pup could see she looked sad so he licked at her chin..which made her smile some and she rubbed his little body.

"I did it Logan...I finally sold my soul to the devil," she sighed unhappily. She took some pride in knowing Tina wouldn't have to do what she was doing but Negan got his way and that pissed her off more than anything. No matter what, she would not give him the winning point.


	20. Chapter 20 : The 'Big' Day

_**Chapter 20 : The 'Big' Day**_

The next to days were like a flurry for Lilly. The day after she agreed to become Negan's wife was filled with her and the other wives scavenging a nearby bridal shop that hadn't been touched (because who needed these things these days) in order to look for dresses and such. Her heart wasn't in it tho, she felt like a Walker with a bit more brain, she was just going thru the motions.

Before she knew it, Lilly was sitting in front of the vanity in her room while Negan's other wives all buzzed around her in effort to get her ready. It was 5pm and they were due at Negan's at 6pm. His first wife, Becca, was kneeling in front of her, putting some bright red lipstick on her lips. Becca had been Negans wife the longest and she had grown to be happy with her new life...but she knew the most how the others felt.

She stood up, "Girls, can you give me a second with Lilly?" she asked the other wives. They all nodded and headed into the living room. Becca moved behind her to start brushing out the curls they put in her hair...making her red hair soft wavy and beautiful. "You're a lot different than us Lilly, we all believe you actually have Negan's heart...so you need to use that power," she said.

Lilly scoffed, "If he really loved me..."

"No...he does and this is his stupid way of showing it," Becca said putting the brush down then going back to kneeling in front of her, holding her hands. "You're not like us. You're not afraid to point out his flaws...fight with him. You can also survive out there in the world incase he ever casted you out. But he'd never do that...not to you. Use it to your advantage. You do whatever he wants on YOUR time, got me? The girls and I all gladly give in to keep our positions because we can't survive out there. Don't loose your spirit, I mean it," she said squeezing her hands warmly.

Lilly sniffled a bit and nodded, giving her a big hug which Becca returned. "You got this sweetheart..." she whispered in her ear then pulled back and they both stand up. "Now lets pick out a dress that will knock his socks off so he'll be begging for you," she smirked making Lilly laugh. At 6pm on the dot, the wives took Lilly to Negan's door, they wouldn't be inside for the wedding itself but they stayed outside to greet their new 'sister-wife' happily. From inside they heard Simon call out that they were ready. 2 of the wives each took a door handle and opened it grandly so Lilly could have a bit of an entrance. She took a step inside and the doors were closed behind her.

Negan turned his head to look at her and he froze, his jaw dropped and stayed like that for a moment.

The girls had done well in finding her a dress that made her look to be the most lovely bride in all of history. Her dress was made of lace and its silhouette was Sheath/Column, which meant it fitted every single one of her curves. It was like, BAM hips, BAM butt..etc. The sleeves were long and lace with no lining. It was off the shoulder completely and its length was sweet train...so it went all the way down and had a small train that just went around her body. Her upper back was shown off with just lace and no lining in a lovely veil that hung over her face was made of Tulle, was one-tier and came to her fingertips. The embellishment around the edges was scallop and it was in the 'classic' shape.

Pursing her lips together nervously and headed up the little aisle the men made via a ripped up piece of carpeting they found in a house somewhere. She looked to Negan and her heart took an extra step, he looked really damned good tonight. He actually forwent his leather jacket and jeans (something he didn't do with the other wives) and managed a pair of slacks along with a nice black shirt...his usual red scarf folded to be a lapel in the shirt's front pocket.

Once she was under the arch (they made one out of fencing material and christmas lights) with Negan, they turned to the "Holy Man"...who was actually an old sea captain that had married couples before. They stood before the Captain, holding hands. She noticed his thumb was rubbing her hand warmly. Lilly could almost sense his excitement. This bothered her...because it showed her he did want this...he just didn't want to give up his other wives, and that made her even more sad.

The captain finally got to the good stuff. Before Negan could say her vows to her, he let out a whistle..and suddenly came out Logan wearing a cute lil Tux and top hat with the ring box on his back. Even Lilly had to laugh and let out a tear at how thoughtful that was of him. Negan grabbed the ring and petted Logan warmly. He put the ring on the edge of her finger. It was Lucilles.

"I told you...you're the only other woman I want wearing this," he told her gently after repeating the usual vow. From a tiny pocket sewed expertly onto her dress she took out a black onyx wedding ban, putting it on his finger as she gave him her vows in a soft voice.

"You may now kiss the bride," the captain said.

Grinning big, he flipped her veil over her head then held her cheeks...his thumb rubbing over her cheekbones for a moment before he kissed her...with amazing tenderness. Lilly hated herself because she found herself kissing him back almost lovingly. Simon and a few other men there cheered and clapped, some whistling.

"Come on Mrs Negan, our public awaits," he said to her, linking arms with her as they stepped down the aisle. His other wives opened the door for them and they stepped out to find everyone else on the floor below them. Negan held up Lucille (of course he had 'her' on hand) and the crowd fell to one knee. "Who are you?" he shouted to them. "Negan!" they called back in unison.

Negan then turned to Lilly, "I need you to kneel, love," he said softly. Lilly frowned not liking the look of this already but did so and hung her head down. "Who are you?" he asked her. Lilly took a deep stabilizing breath and lifted her head. He caught the tears in her eyes as he knew she did not like this and found it degrading. "Negan," she said loudly. Everyone cheered and Negan helped her to stand. He took her hand, "Come on, the other wives have Logan tonight," he said giving her his charming smile as they headed into her room.


	21. Chapter 21 : No Happily Ever After Here

_**Chapter 21 - No Happily Ever After Here**_

As they walked into her apartment, Lilly went right for the bar, pouring herself something brown as she scowled at him.

"Lilly please, it's something all my wives have done, hell, everyone has done. Its just a bit of showmanship," he tried to explain to her as he shut the door behind him.

"Oh, so its all fake but you felt like embarrassing me for the fun of it?" she asked, sucking back her drink and pouring herself another one...then sucking that back as well.

He walked over to her and slipped her arms around her waist gently, pulling her back against him warmly. "It's over now, let's just forget that...let's go into the bedroom, you know I can make you feel better," he whispered in her ear, kissing it gently.

Lilly sighed and closed her eyes, "yes, because there's nothing you can't fix with your dick right?" she asked.

Offended, he turned her around and looked down at her. "You're the one who wanted this, you made this deal, you could at least fake being happy. All I ever do girlie, is for you, yet I don't ever get a thank you. I just get fucking yelled at" he said pissed off.

Her eyes went wide and she pulled her away from him, tears started to stream down her face.

"Fake it? You want me to fuckin fake it? I wouldnt have to fake it if you, just for a minute, would actually care about something other than how others perceive you and getting your dick wet all the time!" she yelled.

The both just looked at each other for a moment before Lilly moved to the couch. She started to sob. "You took what should've been a really special day between us and made it into a cheap disgusting show. I wouldn't have to fake shit...because I do infact love you...and I hate myself for having these feelings. Every Time I think I'm seeing the real you...you-you back off! Like god forbid the woman that honestly loves you see's the man you really are," she said between sobs and sniffles. "But if all you want is fake adoration and sex whenever you want it, fine. I can do that and you'll get nothing else from me," she said standing up. "Well? Come on, it's our honeymoon, let's do this thing!" she said and headed into her bedroom.

Hurting deeply and not really sure why, he followed her into her room where she was taking her dress off. Leaving her bra and panties on, she moved to lay on her back...just waiting for him with no excitement in her eyes or anything.

Just looking at her, he moved his shoes and jacket then climbed onto the bed besides her. "Girlie, please, I do lov-think highly of you...and this has been one of very few happy moments I've had in my life," he said in his relaxing baritone, tracing his fingers over her bare stomach.

"I don't doubt you, whenever one can add to their harem, it has to be a good day," she said looking straight up to the ceiling.

"I don't understand Lilly..."

She sat up and looked to him like **-seriously?-**. "I'll try to explain this to you. I love you Negan and I love you enough to not have any other men in my life. But it's very apparent that showing off is more important to you then loving me. I want to be enough for you. Do you really think when someone loves another person...they want to have to stand in line to get to them? Remember when I made up 'Keith'? Well that is exactly I feel right now. Can you imagine what it would be like for me...spending time with my amazing husband only to have him go to another woman right after our time together?" she asked him, hoping he'd understand.

Negan frowned and looked down to his lap, "I take care of those women Lilly."

"Fuck them! They can fend for themselves. There isn't another you I can run to...and there isn't anyone in this stupid ruined fuckin world I'd accept a ring from," she said so so distressed.

He hated to see her so sad, he reached out and cupped her face which she hated...because she was so drawn in by his touch.

She cried softly, "I just want you...and you alone. If i'm selfish for wanting my husband to myself then so be it. And how long Negan?"

"How long till what?"

"Until you find another pretty woman you feel the 'urge' to protect and marry...and i'm just shuffled down along the line?" She pulled her face away and looked down to her lap, "Please Negan. If you can't love me like a husband should...then just stay away. Stay away until you want to have sex and I'll give you what you want in order to keep my end of the bargain...but otherwise stay away," she said then let out a shuddering breath, "Because it hurts too much to have you around...as a constant reminder of what I can't have," she whimpered, pulling away from him then cried into her hands.

His heartbreaking for her, he got up, put his shoes back on then left her apartment. Simon was outside making sure no one bothered the new couple.

"Hey...why are you out? Need somethin..." Simon started to ask but was cut off.

"I need to talk to someone, come on, I need your point of view on something," he said.

Simon just nodded and followed his friend downstairs and to the backyard where they would be mostly alone (his home was being cleaned) except for the guards but they were on the fences. Negan pulled out 2 nice cigars and lit them both for himself and his friend.

"Thanks, whats going on? She icing you out because you said that may be a problem," Simon mused.

Negan swung Lucille on his shoulder and let the smoke lift from his mouth. "Look..we're gonna talk and I need you to be completely honest. Completely...fucking honest Simon. No yes-man shit..and all this doesn't leave us, got it?" he told him seriously.

Simon nodded, "Of course, I understand."

Negan licked his bottom lip, "So...you know that at one time, not too fuckin long ago, Lilly and I were an item...a serious item."

"I remember," Simon mused wondering where he was going with this.

"We split because she didn't want to be one of my wives...even tho I offered her Lucilles ring and a top position as the head wife."

Simon snorted a bit, "And you thought that would make her happy?"

"Well yeah! Why the fuck not!?"

"She's not like the others Negan. She actually loves you and no one who loves someone...wants to end up having to take turns being with you or be told 'i love you' when you're saying it to 7 other women. Just because everything is in the open...doesn't mean its not cheating," he explained to him.

Negan blinked, "So..I'm cheating on her?" he asked.

"Exactly. Like...dude, she at one point was dying...and you still kept your wives. That's like telling her, 'I care but hang on, it's date night'...imagine being her and having to deal with it, because meanwhile, she's actually in love with you," he told him shaking his head sadly.

"I need my wives..." he excused himself.

"For what man? So other people can see them and go 'whoa look how many wives he has'? Meanwhile they're all dead-eyed, quiet, and show no emotions around you? Negan...everyone can see that, no one is fooled. You know what would be more impressive? To see a wife devoted to you while she fights at your side as your left-hand woman and they would figure out quickly that if -something- happened to you...they would have to deal with Lilly's wrath."

Negan looked up to the sky, "God fuckin damn it...you're making good points. But, I do take care of those women," he said like he had a damned good point.

"Fine, yes you do...but only because you set the price too high for medication. Some of the girls need meds that will keep them from dying but if they got it without problem, they could be a productive member of Sanctuary. If you gave it to them right away, we could most likely assign them to work that we need done...and they'd be happy and healthy to do it. The others...the ones who just can't survive on their own? Why aren't we teaching people here some basic shit? How to handle a gun or how to use a melee weapon," Simon asked.

"It's not my job to make sure they can fight."

"So what...you plan on marrying every single woman who can't take care of herself? It would be a lot easier on our supplies to teach them some basic skills...which means less protection if or when they have to go out to farm or scavenge," he said shaking his head. He couldn't believe just how much he was trying to hold on to his precious concubines. "You wanna rebuild and shit man, but you don't actually want to do any of the micro-managing," he said softly, afraid he had gone to far with his words

Negan looked to him, his hand tightening around Lucille but..he stopped and relaxed. "Cock-sucking damnit...you've actually made some good points," he mused simply.

Simon turned to look at Negan, his cigar in between his fingers, "Okay, what I'm gonna say next will be sort of personal but...it's important so...at least tell me before I 'meet' Lucille, alright?" he asked.

"I told you man, be honest, ya dig?" he reminded him.

Simon took a breath, "You told me when Lucille was in her last stages...you ended your affair. When we all thought Lilly wouldn't survive thru her appendix problems...you didn't do the same. So be real with yourself, do you love her...as much as Lucille?" he asked gently.

Simon panicked inside as Negan moved Lucille..but it was only to set it against his leg. Negan rubbed/stroked his facial hair a bit, "I do. I know I do, hell..I put Lucille's ring on her finger."

"Then why didn't you let your other wives go?" Simon asked sternly.

"You know, for awhile I was really fuckin scared Lilly was gonna end up hating me and just drop me...at least I'd have my wives to run to. When I realized just how much she dug me I started to to realize just hoooooowwww much!" he leaned back "I dug her," he said chuckling and shaking his head. "If this was the old world...my wives? I wouldn't call them after a one-nighter, but Lilly? Shit, I turn into a teenager in love around her."

Simon nodded a bit then looked up to the night sky, "Just tell her you love her man...and let the other wives go. You will never ever have what you and Lilly had...never, with no one else, and especially not with her if you're not willing to do something so damn simple," he told him.

"Simple huh?" Negan asked him with a smirk, putting the cigar in his mouth.

"Real. Fucking. Simple." Simon said, putting his cigar in his mouth as well.

Negan nodded a bit and he clapped his friends shoulder warmly before heading inside without him.


	22. Chapter 22 : Marriage Changes Everything

_**Chapter 22 : Marriage changes Everything**_

 **-He may be right an all but I'm not letting one woman chase my 7 other away-,** Negan said haughtily to himself and stepped back inside of Lily's apartment. To his surprise she was up, in a beautiful white slip and was at the stove.

Lilly turned her head to look at him, giving him a soft smile tho it was obvious she had been crying after he left. "Hey...I'm making you something to eat. It's just hamburgers but it's the only thing I had not frozen," she told him.

Negan walked into her kitchen/dining room with a curious look on his face. "Really? Are you try to fuckin poison me?" he asked quirking an eyebrow.

She smirked a bit and shook her head as she brought him over a hamburger, just how he prefered them, on a plate and set it in front of him. "I wouldn't do that, you have to be hungry, please eat something," she said.

Negan smiled and leaned over to kiss her forehead warmly then dug into his food.

"I was thinking.." she said taking his free hand and squeezing it warmly. "I...I should of been a lot more thankful for what you tried to do for me. I cant believe how I acted Negan. You were letting me know you loved me the most and I just threw a tantrum because I didn't want to share and that was so fuckin stupid of me," she said shaking her head. "I'm so so sorry I ruined what should of been a beautiful wedding and honeymoon for us. I promise, from now on, I'm going to change. No more acting like a child or cold shoulders..I'm gonna be the Lilly you first fell for," she said giving him a hopeful smile.

Negan was greatly enjoying his burger, but he felt himself losing his appetite little by little as she spoke, until he just wasn't hungry anymore. He set the 3/4th of a whole burger down and just held her hands.

"What's wrong? Does it taste okay?" she asked worriedly.

"No..no it's fine girlie, I'm just not as hungry as I thought I was," he said as he looked up into her eyes...his hand coming up to stroke her face. Something changed in her and it scared him in away. The light in her eyes were dying and he realized her spirit was dying just like his wives' had...and it really fucking hurt him and his heart to see that happening to Lilly.

Kissing her lips softly he smiled to her, "Why don't you get some sleep tonight. Just rest up, no pressure to do anything tonight. We both could use a good nights sleep. I'll go into my room," he told her gently.

"Are you sure? I'd love it if you stayed here with me...I miss us being intimate," she said with a cute blush.

Now, **that** made him sick, Lilly would actually never say that...she'd either drag him into the bedroom or tell him to fuck off. "No, it's okay girlie, lets just get some sleep," he said and stood up.

Lilly stood up with him and kissed his lips sweetly before he left then went to bed herself.

Negan stepped out of her apartment and headed to his own in deep thought. **-Maybe it would be nice to not have to fight with her all the damn time. God knows the sex was good..it would be nice to have that again and shit, she can cook too!-** he thought to himself as he moved into his bedroom to change into something to sleep in. **-Tho..dammit, there was nothing behind that kiss of hers and now there was nothing behind her eyes. Passion, that's what it was. It was gone-** he realized as he slipped into bed and turned off the light. **-BUT...as the head wife she'll probably whip the others into shape-** he thought with a smile, "Oh, that was a good one," he chuckled to himself and fell asleep happily.


	23. Chapter 23 : Negans Choice

_**Chapter 23 : Negan's Choice**_

The following morning:

Lilly's apartment. Now in a comfy pair of sweats and a tank top, Lilly sat at her dining room table and ate the small breakfast of toast with cream cheese on it and a hot cup of tea. Logan played at her feet and she smiled. Everything sucked yesterday but at least all problems were solved...as well as they could be at least. Lilly had decided last night that she was not going to be miserable for the rest of her life and if she had to stand in-line for Negan...then she'd just do so. A big part of her hated herself for thinking that was an alright compromise but she put herself in this situation to help a friend and she was going to make the best of it.

Just then Negan walked in with a big smile, "Girlie! Lets go..." he said walking over to her.

"Huh wher-Ack!" she yelled as he stood her up and grabbed her hand so she'd follow him.

"We're having 'Date-Morning'," he chuckled.

"I'm not even dressed.." she said as he was pulled by him.

They went into the apartment his wives presided in, he shut the door behind them.

"I need you to look around for me, I think one of them is hiding something," he said and sat down on the couch.

Lilly raised an eyebrow, shrugged then went to explore to rooms. She came out about ten minutes later looking confused. "Everything is about empty and their personal stuff is good too. Oh god, did something happen to them?" she asked her eyes going big.

Negan just motioned for her to come over to him, which, once she did, he pulled her into his lap. Before she could say anything he kissed her lips softly.

"They're gone. All moved out and in rooms like the one you started out in. I've divorced them all Lilly...and before you say anything, the ones with medical problems are getting what they need and the ones who don't know how to survive are being taught some basic shit." He stroked a piece of hair behind her ear, "I rather have one super capable-super hot-wife then 7 wives I'd need to watch over 24-7," he told her putting his forehead to hers.

Lilly was in absolute shock she couldn't think of anything to say for the longest time until she managed to squeak out. "Please don't be fucking with me right now Negan. Please don't lie to me. Is this for real?" she asked him.

Negan nodded, "It's really fuckin real Lilly," he told her.

Lilly throw her arms around him and held him tightly, one hand resting on the back of his head. "And you won't resent me?"

"Shit girlie, I could never do that," he told her, "Hell if I resented anyone it would be at my other wives for clouding my head and drawing my attention away from you," he smirked and kissed his lips softly.

She returned the kiss tenfold, then pulled back while holding the sides of face. Lilly looked into his face then smiled, "Haha, you liiiikeeeeee meeeee," she teased and poked his nose, "youuuuu maaaaaarrieeedddd meeee," she laughed.

"Oh shut up girlie," he laughed and threw her down onto the couch and quickly climbed overtop of her. "Wanna get the couch 'ready' for whoever moves in here next?" he asked grinning down to her.

Her legs wrapped around his waist, "Fuck yeah," she grinned. 

**(Holy shit guys, it's the end HA, there's a part two coming! I have chapters written up and everything. But I wanted to thank ya'll for reading this and everyone who favorited it/me/Reviewed like...ya'll made me feel so awesome. Thanks for helping me break my TWD cherry haha. You all rock! 3 )**


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